


Say Something

by MyStarShine



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, No actual Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-11 23:25:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyStarShine/pseuds/MyStarShine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke thought for a brief moment that whatever he felt between them, whatever he thought he felt was just another lie Sasuke had told himself. A lie he might have told himself to keep himself thinking that no matter how far he fell beneath the ugly waters of his life choices, that Naruto would be the only one waiting for him when he floated back to the surface.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Say Something

**Author's Note:**

> This was finished before the Manga concluded so there is probably some divergence.

**Say Something**

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_I'll be the one, if you want me to_  
_Anywhere I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

-   _A Great Big World_

Sasuke had returned to Konoha when he was 18. He couldn't say why, he hadn't figured it out himself more than it felt like the right thing to do. He had fled after the war, the azure gaze that met his when they had finally proved victorious was so filled with relief and hope that Sasuke might return, because when everything was gone where else was there to turn to?

He had no doubt of the widespread disappointment he had caused, but he knew what was waiting for him in Konoha, and he didn't want to face imprisonment so soon after finding out who he really was. It wasn't an avenger, not as he believed years prior. His life was solitary; the former remnants of his team weren't present because Sasuke didn't wish them to be. Freedom wasn't what he had expected it to be, things were peaceful around him, but all Sasuke could hear was silence. So he mindlessly wandered, he kept himself hidden because the war was fresh in people's minds, the loss, and the stigma his name carried would work against him. It was only a matter of time before he found himself back at the gates of Konoha, and even less time before he found himself imprisoned as he had figured he would be. It didn't matter, because existing in solitude outside the prison bars was no different than existing behind them

He remembered the first time he had seen Naruto after he returned. Naruto stood in front of the bars, eyes wide eyed and youthful, but hurt as he witnessed that Sasuke truly had returned. Sasuke still remembered the explosion of pain he felt when Naruto had opened his mouth. He had one hand on the bars and he let out a soft laugh. "Welcome home, jerk," He said before he leaned in closer. "I'm going to get you out of here," He said. There was no forgiveness in Naruto's voice for the sole reason that Naruto didn't believe there was anything to forgive. Sasuke didn't know why it shook him the way it did.

He had discovered through the following weeks that Naruto was placed in line to become Hokage. It was fitting, perhaps more than Sasuke's ideal of being the same. It had only been a passing thought. With his position, Naruto negotiated for his life, and at the end of it all, Sasuke's sentence had been reduced to a year. It hadn't made Naruto happy, but as the year passed the blonde visited. He was light hearted when he spoke, but he was reserved, and suddenly the voice lacking need for forgiveness seemed insincere.

It was stranger still when Sasuke was eventually released. After helping Sasuke relocate back into the district once lively with the voice of his family, Naruto left him with nothing but ghosts.

He still saw him as he interacted with the friends that remained after the war. They had seemed to patch over the wounds inflicted and were able to be happy, but Naruto never sought him out, not like Sakura had. He had no use for her, not in the way she wanted, and not the way he probably should have wanted her because he was the legacy of his family. Sasuke was beginning to wonder whether he would allow it to die with him.

He found the answer when he found himself at Naruto's apartment one day. The blonde had more than enough money to leave the poor district of town, but Naruto remained. He knocked and when Naruto opened the door dressed in his orange pants and a casual tee, he looked shocked.

"You don't have to feel obligated to speak to me," Naruto said, his hands shoved in the pockets of his pants, forcing his shirt to bunch above his wrists as he stepped a little farther into his apartment, letting Sasuke in.

"I want answers," Sasuke stated simply as he stepped inside the small apartment and shut the door behind him.

"Might be easier if you gave me questions Sasuke," Naruto said tipping his head with a grin that seemed frail and perhaps dishonest.

"Why wouldn't you leave me be?" He asked. It had puzzled him; he acted with optimum apathy when the small team had stumbled on Orochimaru's lair. It had been so long since he had seen the blonde; he had convinced himself that he would never have to see the blonde again. He had convinced himself because the thought of Naruto being someone that swayed him even a little was too shameful to accept.

"I made a promise," He said quietly looking up at the ceiling and he hummed quietly as he shifted all his weight to his left leg. "I have some juice if you want something to drink."

"A promise to whom?" Sasuke ignored Naruto's chatter, Naruto had always been filled with useless words and Sasuke's world had no use for uselessness.

"Sakura I guess…whom, how proper," Naruto said.

"You don't sound so sure of yourself," That was a rare thing indeed.

"People change Sasuke," Naruto said.

Sasuke was aware; there were so many people in this village that were content to remain as they were in a state of constants. Naruto and he never settled for constant, they refused to let the world continue to take from them. Sasuke almost hated to admit that they might be alike almost as much as he hated to think that Naruto might have been better at it then Sasuke ever was, that Naruto could be better than him at anything. "You still seem like a pathetic moron to me," Sasuke said, unwilling to sacrifice any ground he had against the blonde.

Naruto let out a laugh and his head tipped back even farther before his gaze finally returned to earth and met Sasuke. "I probably am," his hand resting on the back of his head in a way others might have viewed as charming. Sasuke didn't know how he had made that hypothetical connection.

"You never knew when to give up," Sasuke said.

"I still don't think there was ever an option to give up," Naruto said.

Sasuke looked Naruto over, he was taller, probably, perhaps they were the same height. Naruto's face was thinner with the barest amount of baby fat that hid the oncoming angles of age that would likely emerge in the years coming to them. "Yet this is the first we've spoken, and I've been free for months," Sasuke said calmly. For all of Sasuke's skill in reading battle situations and reading body language, he couldn't for the life of him figure out why Naruto suddenly looked so tense.

"I promised to get you home Sasuke, you're here aren't you? Isn't that where it ends?" Naruto said.

"And when you said you were my friend?" Sasuke pressed.

"I am, just call for me and I'll come running Sasuke," Naruto said, that insincere smile was beginning to make him angry.

"I never recalled friendship being defined as silence," Sasuke said.

Naruto breathed in deeply, "I didn't think you had any idea how to define friendship Sasuke," Naruto admitted.

"Quit evading the question," Sasuke said taking a step forward. They were five steps apart, but to Sasuke this was closer than anyone had been to him in years. Even when travelling with Taka, the relationships he had with the others were cold, calculating, and bred from necessity to keep Sasuke alive and out of Konoha's hands, their closeness to him was physical and nothing more.

"I wanted to respect how you felt, you never exactly came looking for me either. I'm your friend Sasuke, but I'm not going to force you to be mine," Naruto said, it was a strange use of words.

"Maybe you have changed," Sasuke mused.

"Maybe I have," Naruto said with a shrug.

Sasuke watched the blonde for a long time and he was surprised at Naruto's ability to remain quiet as Sasuke observed him. "Then again, maybe you're just afraid."

"What is there to be afraid of?" Naruto said with a growl and took a step forward; they were four steps apart now.

"Afraid to learn that I might not want you," Sasuke said and it was only a fraction of time that the hurt flickered in Naruto's expression, but a fraction was all Sasuke needed to see. Maybe he knew the pain was coming, and maybe he said it anyway.

"Nah," Naruto said waving his hand and he turned to face away from Sasuke with his hands folded behind his head and stepped a few paces away. 9…and he spoke with a little more strength, "I don't need to hang around your feet like a dog to know that you've made that clear."

"So first you're my friend, now you're a dog," Sasuke stated clearly, but he was still trying to make sense of those words. Naruto's vernacular was average at best, but they were weaved skillfully enough to keep Sasuke confused at the same time.

"Fuck you, Sasuke," Naruto said looking over his shoulder with a glare he hadn't seen since the war. "Why would I bother you when I wasn't going to get anywhere anyway, it seems like a giant waste of my time. I'm a busy person you know? I've got places to be, a job to do, and a giant responsibility to prepare for. I'm not going to sit there at your front door trying to be civil when I already know that whatever I have to offer you isn't good enough," he said angrily. Sasuke could hear it weaved somewhere in the sarcasm that Naruto's attempt at being dishonest was the real front.

"You, having self-worth issues? That is rich," Sasuke said with a smirk tugging at his lips, speaking if only to make Naruto squirm, his usual apathy not enough. It was clear to anyone who looked at Naruto for a moment, that his entire life had been based around a lack of self-worth.

"What do you want from me Sasuke? I don't get it, why are you here of all places? You have shit to do too, you don't need to be bothering me," which was Naruto for 'you don't need to be here picking at open wounds'.

"I don't believe you. I don't believe you're leaving me alone for my benefit, not that it isn't appreciated," Sasuke lied.

"Is that what you want? You want to hear me say it, is that how cruel you really are?" Naruto said, his eyes narrow and even though he wasn't shouting, Sasuke couldn't hear anything else as Naruto walked toward him in a way that may have intimidated anyone else. Two steps away and Sasuke didn't move. They stared one another down for minutes on end, to the point that Naruto's scent flooded his senses. "You want to hear that I'm giving you your space because I wasn't good enough, Sasuke? That maybe if I had been just a little stronger that your play for power could have been avoided, that years of…of…that my friendship wasn't enough to sway you? That nothing I said, nothing I told you about the people here that loved you didn't matter to you even after the war was done with?"

"Double negative, dumbass," Sasuke griped, not allowing the full force of the words affect him, but it was difficult.

"You really want to me to say out loud to you," He gestured his finger between both of them, "that I changed my entire life for you, and it still wasn't good enough to effect any real change? Well fine, have it your way Sasuke. You always get your way, I don't know why I try," Naruto said, his raspy voice fluttered between audible and nonexistence as he spoke. No matter how thick the emotion was, Naruto's voice was thinner.

Maybe Sasuke was saying everything to be cruel, perhaps Sasuke had finally fully resigned himself to the fact that there was no more humanity left inside him to save.

…

Maybe Sasuke was only saying these things to ward off the truth that he had known for a long time. Naruto was the only one who had ever been able to effect change in Sasuke, as little as it might appear, he was the only one still living able to accomplish it. Sasuke didn't like being that vulnerable to anyone. Before Naruto could step away, Sasuke surged forward and placed his hands on Naruto's jaw, drawing him into a firm lip lock. There was no time before Naruto's surprised protest turned into compliance and Sasuke felt something breathed into him telling him that maybe this was the one thing he refused to let himself have. This was the one bond that he wanted more than anything else and couldn't risk because he knew that it would cause tremors strong enough to break Sasuke's strength. If Naruto had to hate him to keep Sasuke's core safe, then he'd have to be cruel. He had failed.

Naruto's hand pressed against his chest and he forcefully pushed Sasuke back. His eyes were wide before he wiped at his mouth and Sasuke thought for a brief moment that whatever he felt between them, whatever he thought he felt was just another lie Sasuke had told himself. A lie he might have told himself to keep himself thinking that no matter how far he fell beneath the ugly waters of his life choices, that Naruto would be the only one waiting for him when he floated back to the surface. "Stop…" He said, breathing heavily as he looked at Sasuke as if he were a stranger.

Sasuke leaned forward, grasping Naruto's wrist in his hand and drew it away from his face where it had acted as a temporary barrier between them. "You don't mean that," Sasuke breathed as he leaned closer. Sasuke needed this. It made no sense to him, but he was tired of fighting this attraction that wasn't skin deep.

Sasuke paused when Naruto turned his head and his fist clenched, he could feel the tremble running through Naruto in the grip he had on the blonde's wrist. "I don't want to play this game, Sasuke, you win okay?" Naruto said.

"I don't play games," Sasuke said, refusing to let Naruto step away when he tried.

"No, Sasuke! I don't want this! I don't want to be the one hanging on the stupid bones you throw me. I don't know how you knew, but I'm not doing this!" He said, his voice fluttering in and out again like his voice wasn't strong enough.

"Don't lie to me," Sasuke said angrily as he yanked Naruto closer and was astonished when he felt a sudden explosion of pain in his jaw. When he was finally able to focus, Naruto was looking down at him panting as he rubbed his knuckles and Sasuke stood straight from where he had stumbled backward.

"I said stop," Naruto said, butting heads with Sasuke once more.

"You don't mean that," Sasuke said rubbing at his jaw. He had been here short moments and Naruto had already made him drop his guard enough to fall for the sucker punch.

"I don't lie Sasuke," Naruto said his jaw tense. "Get out of my house," he pointed toward the door.

"You want this," Sasuke said, "You want what I'm willing to provide and you're telling me the opposite. If I don't know how to define friendship, I can define a lie."

"You want to fuck with my head! Haven't you done enough? Go find someone else to put up with you Sasuke, because I'm not doing this," Naruto said.

Sasuke watched Naruto and shook his head, "I don't want anyone else," he said.

"You don't want me either! You just have this sadistic need to watch me crawl around on my knees for you, well fuck you Sasuke. It's not going to be like that," he said and Sasuke's anger snapped.

He surged forward, only this time he didn't seal his mouth over Naruto's, instead he shoved him against the wall, knocking the breath from Naruto's lungs and the sense from his mind when his head thudded against the wall. "Don't try to pretend you know what I want Naruto," Sasuke said, his mouth brushing Naruto's as he spoke. "You've never understood me, so don't try now."

"I understand you just fine," Naruto said pushing at Sasuke's arm and Sasuke could feel a familiar energy surround him that wasn't Naruto's.

Sasuke's brow lifted, and if he could let himself, he probably would have laughed. "You're relying on the beast to protect you?" Sasuke asked, recognizing the Kyuubi's presence around him and he wondered if the fox had meant this when he told Sasuke he'd regret killing Naruto. "I'm amazed they could even seal it inside you again."

"Kurama stays by choice, he's not sealed at all," Naruto said. Their strength was likely equal, but Sasuke had no doubt that the reason Naruto hadn't broken out of Sasuke's pin was because of the psychological hold he had over the blonde. "You couldn't hurt me anyway," He said defiantly with a fire he remembered from their childhood of them constantly clashing.

"Sure," they both knew that wasn't true. "You don't understand me," Sasuke said firmly.

Naruto's eyes looked up to the ceiling before they closed entirely and he let out a weak laugh. "I think it's the other way around," Naruto said.

"I know that you love me," Sasuke said and felt Naruto tense beneath him.

"I love a lot of people, Sasuke," Naruto said.

"That love doesn't compare to this," Sasuke said…this wasn't how things were supposed to go. People didn't start with love confessions, but they weren't really conventional either.

"Quit saying stupid things Sasuke, you're supposed to be smart," Naruto said.

"You're lying to yourself again," Sasuke said.

"You don't understand me at all! You said that I could never understand you, but I do Sasuke. I've lost people, I've hurt, just like you! I've truly hated people, I've wanted to kill them…I lost people in the war Sasuke, people died because of me, for me. Those people, the people out there are my family. They chose me, they love me because they want to, not because they have to! There's nothing you can say that will ever convince me that they aren't equally as important as those you've lost. No, you're the one who doesn't get it," Naruto yelled out.

Sasuke watched him, suddenly angry at the comparison of the massacre of his family regardless of all the facts. He wondered just how long Naruto had been holding onto that for the seams to burst at an inappropriate time. "You'd die for them Naruto…" He had no doubt of that. "But would you die with them? Die with them because you can't muster the strength to do anything else?" They had been apart for more of their life than they had spent it together. Even in their separation, they had endured this together. Sasuke knew that moment when their hearts ceased to beat that there was no other way he would have died, but it wasn't only because there was no other option.

Naruto looked at him and he opened his mouth but said nothing, at least not right away. "I don't trust you," Naruto said.

Sasuke didn't blame him. He leaned forward and caught Naruto's lips again, and this time Naruto's lips responded in desperation. "I choose you," Sasuke said and Naruto's mouth caught his in return.

"Shut up Sasuke," Naruto muttered against his mouth before he began yanking at the zipper on his shirt. Sasuke had an inkling that Naruto was acting rashly, but they were adults now so he allowed for the shirt to be pushed down his shoulders before letting it fall to the floor.

"Don't cry now," Sasuke said in response to the overwhelming emotions he'd been hearing from the blonde. Sasuke ducked his head and latched his mouth onto Naruto's pulse drawing a groan from the blonde as he moved straight for the button on the horrid orange pants that he still donned.

"I'll punch you again," He said between heavy breaths as Sasuke's hands dipped beneath Naruto's ridiculous boxers, and wrapped his hand firmly around his length, giving it a few experimental tugs and the groan indicated that Naruto's ability to coherently string words together was gone. "Fuck…"

Sasuke smirked against Naruto's throat, almost sure to leave an angry mark he hoped wouldn't be healed by the next day because Naruto was his. Sasuke used his free hand to pull Naruto's shirt up until it settled firmly above his chest before he began to nip and tease at the blonde's nipple until it pebbled and he noted that the erection that had formed in his hand had begun to leak. "Cut it out," Naruto muttered, his hands resting on Sasuke's jaw and temple before he pushed him away from his chest.

"Hn," Sasuke smirked and reached up and pinched at the nipple he had been teasing and elicited a sharp intake of breath from Naruto before the blonde stated tugging at his pants again.

"Bedroom," He muttered, leaving Sasuke to doubt his innocence. He was far too enthralled with the erotic scene of Naruto's bruised, peachy lips parted in front of him to act on the anger he felt in that assumption. Naruto had grown up very well.

Naruto moved toward the bed while tearing his shirt off and when they arrived at the edge of it Sasuke felt Naruto push him and his back met the cool mattress. He had very little time to think about it before Naruto's lips were on his, his hands caressing and exploring his torso and Sasuke took pleasure in the blonde taking some initiative. Sasuke took this moment while Naruto was distracted to hook his thumbs in the loops of Naruto's pants and tug them down. Naruto didn't miss a beat as he shifted his weight until he could toss the pants and boxers on the ground before continuing in his exploration that left Sasuke breathless. Sasuke's hands found Naruto's backside again and after a gentle squeeze of flesh, Sasuke's finger slid against Naruto's entrance, gently since his fingers were dry.

"No," the word was muffled against Sasuke's collar bone and he moved to sit up just as Sasuke pressed his finger, feeling the resistance, but he didn't dare try to breach the muscle like this.

"Too soon?" Sasuke asked, grunting when Naruto shifted in his lap, the friction absolutely dangerous.

Naruto's hand grabbed Sasuke's wrist and he frowned. "Why am I bottoming?" He said.

"Because I won't," Sasuke said simply.

"What makes you think I will?" Naruto stared down at him and Sasuke didn't budge. This wasn't how he pictured this, even though Naruto seemed destined to oppose him at every turn anyway.

"I don't enjoy it," Sasuke said not wanting to give him the wrong implication but knowing that giving an ultimatum to the blonde would just make him more hostile, so he played on Naruto's compassion.

Naruto stared down at him for a long time and Sasuke could only guess at what Naruto was feeling. There was something, because his expression fell before he sighed. "Fine," he said before he rolled over onto his back.

"We don't have to," Sasuke said, maybe there was a little humanity left inside of him.

Naruto looked at him annoyed, "Just fuck me already."

Sasuke's brows lifted, but he probably should have expected Naruto to be inappropriate. With a breath he turned over and took a brief moment to survey Naruto laying with his knees propped up, his eyes half lidded as he stared back at Sasuke. A shiver ran through him, it was all too overwhelming the sheer force of his former resolve crashing down around him. He pushed his pants out of the way before he found himself between Naruto's thighs, "Lube?" He murmured quietly and Naruto fumbled around with the night stand and pushed something into Sasuke's hand. Sasuke wasted no time coating his fingers and found his way back to Naruto's entrance. He watched the blonde's face as he circled the ring of muscle for any sign of hesitation before he sank his finger in to the knuckle. "Who else has been here?" He asked, because he wanted to know and sensitivity was a rarity.

Naruto shifted his weight and let out a breath deep in his throat before he looked up at Sasuke. The stumble in his thought process, the fact that Sasuke could make the blonde falter was a pleasure to Sasuke. He mumbled something under his breath and Sasuke slid in farther, perhaps a little too fast.

"What was that?" Sasuke asked, his lips brushing against Naruto's again, shivering in anticipation at the body quivering around him.

"No one!" He hissed out.

Sasuke's teeth scraped lightly against Naruto's bottom lip before he pulled back and watched Naruto's face, and showed the blonde mercy as he gently began to stretch the blonde. He decided it wasn't a lie and decided he was going to take his time. "Hurry up," Naruto muttered out.

Sasuke smirked and slowed down, "Moron, don't rush something like this," He said quietly. He might not have enjoyed the experience, but he was maybe man enough to admit that he wanted Naruto to.

Naruto quieted down after that, or rather, he was less verbal until Sasuke refused to move on. Sasuke waited until he thought the blonde was ready, by his standards and not from the string of curse words pouring loudly from Naruto's mouth as he tried to convince Sasuke to do anything else. Sasuke pulled back only to slick his member before he shifted Naruto's legs upward, "Ready?" He asked.

Naruto gave him an annoyed glance, Sasuke simply nodded before he slowly began to sink into Naruto's heat, wrenching a loud groan from the blonde. He had been noisy throughout the entire exchange. Sasuke eased his way in slowly, removing himself several times before pressing deeper inside, paying every attention he could to Naruto. His hands gently began to massage along the blonde's thighs, "Relax, just trust me," He said quietly knowing full well Naruto probably didn't.

"You try relaxing wi—" Naruto's thought was interrupted as his breath hitched and Sasuke sat there, fully seated. Sasuke didn't respond, he continued to caress Naruto, finding sensitive spots to exploit that he regrettably hadn't discovered prior. He should have taken his time, so instead he wrapped his hand around Naruto's member and began to stroke, long and slow forcing a shudder from Naruto.

Naruto's ankle rested on his shoulder and after some time passed Naruto nodded. "Move, bastard," he murmured quietly.

Sasuke set himself into motion, moving with slow long thrusts to begin with and he could see the look of concentration on Naruto's face. Sasuke found a comfortable pace, and slowly began to pick up speed forcing Naruto's breathing to quicken and the tanned fingers to grip his own hair as he tried to remain composed. Sasuke wanted that composure gone, Naruto didn't suit composure, that's not what he wanted. He shifted his weight onto one elbow and his free hand rested in the crease of Naruto's knee, pushing it higher and he snapped his hips, groaning at the sensation that drew a loud cry from the blonde. He could feel Naruto quivering around him and it only served to bring Sasuke closer. "Sasuke!" He hissed out, and Naruto's hands finally found their way around Sasuke's body, his fingertips sinking into the flesh of Sasuke's back as he writhed beneath him and cried out.

Sasuke's thrusts remained powerful and as Naruto clung to him and his face buried into Sasuke, Sasuke's arms reached around him, grasping at his back and his rear, pulling Naruto as close as their bodies would allow. He could feel Naruto's cock pressed between them, friction likely drawing Naruto higher as Sasuke moved against him. Naruto was panting, mewling and clinging to him as if when he let go everything would be over. Naruto was wrong, he came back, he chose to come back, he chose Naruto. Whatever the implications were of his decisions, Sasuke didn't fully know, all he knew was that he couldn't function without this, the overwhelming sense of completion he felt with Naruto despite the fact that Naruto saw too much of him, in spite of the fact that he knew he could ruin Naruto's world with the simple act of indifference. Sasuke was far too desperate to let go of the only thing in his life that didn't make sense but he knew he would cease breathing without.

The pleasure continued to build as Naruto's legs wrapped tightly around his waist and his mouth clumsily found Sasuke's. Naruto needed this…needed him, he could feel it and Sasuke found it hard to hold on as Naruto's heat clenched around him deliciously.

"Please," Naruto whispered against his ear, the gentle rasp only adding to the tension building deep inside of him. Sasuke thrust, the sound of the contact of flesh too loud in the room before Naruto drowned it out with a sharp cry as his body finally released, the resulting spasm sending Sasuke over the edge. The raven buried his face in the crook of Naruto's neck, muffling his cry as he came with a few final thrusts. They stayed entangled for a moment before the strength drained from Sasuke and he felt the heavy weight of satiation threaten to draw him into slumber. He made sure to withdraw before he settled beside Naruto, panting lightly. One look at the blonde placed him in the same situation, shivering in the aftermath, his chest heaving but eyes unwilling to open.

Sasuke took the moment to let Naruto come down from the pleasurable sensation and he got up to gather something to clean them off and when he was done he sank down beside the blonde and watched his face. "Quit staring at me…" Naruto muttered, sounding tired. Sasuke imagined the other's stamina might have been greater, but perhaps he underestimated the toll of emotional exhaustion. Naruto was in tune with them far more than Sasuke ever could be.

"No," Sasuke said, reaching forward he carded his finger through Naruto's hair and he could see thick lashes flutter the slightest against marked cheeks.

"Asshole…" Naruto muttered and he shifted onto his side.

"Maybe," he said before he heard a light snore from the blonde and he breathed in heavily and decided to catch some sleep too.

-::0::-

When Sasuke woke, he hardly expected a cool morning light to be filtering through the drapes nor the warmth against his front. Naruto had shifted in his sleep, one leg was hooked over Sasuke's and Naruto's body was twisted in a near feline like state of sleep. Sasuke's lip quirked and he brushed Naruto's hair back out of his face while noting that he needed a trim.

It was so simple, the prospect of just laying here with the man who had threatened to bring down everything he knew, but Sasuke was still standing. He hadn't expected to still be standing. He was left wondering how he had managed to let this wall of distrust and disbelief build between them when maybe the light in front of him, the only thing that led him back here might have been strong enough to push the ambition he had away, to push away the overwhelming hurt he felt at the slaughter of his family so many years prior and push away the hurt of the truth. Naruto was here, and Sasuke knew that he had the blonde; he had him positioned in such a fashion that a single word he said could tear the blonde's world to pieces. He had spent long years after Sasuke's defection trying to build a foundation for himself. Naruto had amassed empires built on genuine trust, and Sasuke knew he could snuff the light out in a gentle breath. The sense of power was familiar to him, and inside he felt pleased at the realisation, but one thing was different than it had been in years past. He didn't know when it happened or how, but it would take equally as little for Naruto to ruin him. He hoped the blonde didn't know that.

"I think you should leave Sasuke," Naruto's voice filtered through the room, fogged with sleep as he turned over hiding his face from Sasuke and the bottom fell out of his world. Naruto maybe didn't know, but he had done it anyway.

"No," Sasuke said.

"I don't want you here," He said quietly…maybe it came down to that trust. Maybe Sasuke needed to just damn well say it and be damned with this pride that had somehow landed him in the one position he didn't want to find himself in.

"Liar," Sasuke's voice was quieter than it should have been.

"Get out!" Naruto said as he turned and his flat palm slammed on Sasuke's chest, knocking just a little of his breath from him. "I told you I'm not playing this game!"

Naruto didn't trust him, "You think I manipulated you," Sasuke said flatly when it was Naruto who had seduced him.

"I don't have that kind of power, and I don't want it!" Naruto said pushing at his chest again, but Sasuke caught his wrists before he did. Naruto was off balance, it was easy to avoid his aggressive behaviour.

"This isn't about power…" Sasuke said quietly even though as they breathed hostility between them, Naruto had all of the power and Sasuke had lost the footing he had so hoped to keep when he had confronted Naruto the day before.

"Like you could ever see anything else!" That wasn't true, he saw Naruto.

"I love you," Sasuke said…he knew he had spoken it, but he hadn't heard the words.

Naruto's eyes were stunned wide before he shook his head. "Get out Sasuke," the words were weaker as he pulled his arms back, it was a weak attempt, but so was Sasuke's grip and they fell to Naruto's chest and he took the briefest unnecessary moment to note that the mark he had kissed into Naruto's flesh was healed.

Sasuke watched Naruto quietly and neither of them moved other than to breathe. He could tell that Naruto was weighing his words…he didn't trust him, he didn't believe him and he lamented that he had let Naruto's vision of him get this far. His only attempt at the truth had been blatantly rejected. "I do…" He tried again.

"Please leave…" Naruto's words were weak but kept hammering up against Sasuke.

"I'm not a good person," He said admitting it. He had known it for a while. "But I am…I'm capable," He said, he hadn't thought he was, but it turned out that was the real lie.

"I know who you are," Naruto said quietly. Naruto had claimed to understand him, but if this was how he responded, maybe he didn't.

"Naruto…" he murmured the man's name for the first time.

Naruto was quiet, but he met Sasuke's gaze and he could see the conflict there. He needed Naruto to say it. He could see it, but he needed to hear it, he never thought he would need to be the first one to admit it, but maybe it was the one thing left that he needed. "Go home Sasuke…we can try again tomorrow," Naruto said and he turned over and dragged the covers with him.

Sasuke was silent as he stared at Naruto's back and considered staying put, but he eventually sat and slowly gathered his clothes. He dressed and before he headed toward the door he looked at Naruto laying in the middle of his bed as if he were weak, as if he had none of the power. It was complete bullshit. "I'll be back tomorrow then," Sasuke promised before he turned and headed for the door.

Sasuke was a fool to think it could have been so easy. They had always opposed one another. Things had never been simple and they probably never would be anything but volatile, but tomorrow was another day, and Naruto had made a vague promise to try and love him tomorrow.

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_  
_Anywhere I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_\- A Great Big World_

**End.**

Please let me know what you think, it means so much to me~

OddlyEnded


	2. I'm Giving up on You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> =

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people have been asking for a second part and I felt I had enough in me to write it.  
> I hope that it's good enough~

_I will swallow my pride_  
_You're the one that I love_  
_And I'm saying goodbye_

\- A Great Big World

When the door closed Naruto finally flipped the covers back down and stared up at the ceiling. He could still feel the warmth where Sasuke had been laying down and he had to fight not to simply roll over and take in the scent that was left. “I’m so pathetic,” He muttered out loud before he decided to sit up and look out across his long time living area. It wasn’t much, but he liked the shitty little apartment, it reminded him of where he started, as lonely and painful as it was. The torture he felt around Sasuke seemed so much worse in comparison sometimes.

There was a knock on the door and his eyes widened, “Just a sec!” he called out, hoping it wasn’t Sasuke. He said he wouldn’t be back until tomorrow, Sasuke didn’t much like to deviate from his plans unless he had to. He scrambled around his apartment and grabbed whatever clothes he could find before he finally managed to pull the front door open.

“You look like a slob, as usual,” Sakura said with a huff as she stepped inside carrying a basket. Naruto really hoped there wasn’t food in there, she still didn’t know how to cook.

“You always wake me up with a loud bang on the door, of course I look like a slob,” Naruto pouted as he let her in rubbing at his back, it was an odd sensation all of a sudden, walking around.

“I’m actually surprised I didn’t have to wait out there longer,” she said as she walked into the kitchen and she placed the basket on the counter and lifted the cover from the top of it.

“What do you have there?” Naruto said, clearing his throat as he tried to act natural. Sakura was never the most perceptive person, her self centered behaviour had widely changed since the war, but that perception beyond the end of her nose was not one of the things that had changed.

“Why are you standing around like that, just sit down and let me worry about it,” she said in an irritated voice. If Sakura ever spoke to him in a gentle tone, Naruto would seriously question her mental health. He was glad for the normalcy, he didn’t want to think about Sasuke right now…he was tired of thinking of Sasuke.

“Fine, fine,” Naruto said as he scratched behind his ear, “Why you here anyway?”

“We have to go to the tower, or don’t you remember? You have a meeting,” Sakura said angrily as she flicked his forehead and Naruto just laughed. He was used to this, he kind of wished that he wanted Sakura like he’d convinced himself of so many years ago, because liking girls was expected and normal…he wished maybe she wanted him to, that way Sasuke might not be able to manipulate him so easily.

“Why do I have to remember things when I have you Sakura? You’re the best,” He said with a grin as he leaned over the counter to look in the basket.

“You can be so annoying sometimes, I’m not going to wake you up next time, maybe then they’ll see how unreliable you are,” She muttered as she took a few pieces of fruit from the basket and rummaged around the kitchen for his utensils. She knew his apartment so well. Sakura was a little abrasive from time to time…it would have been so much easier, they might have even made sense.

Naruto let out another laugh, “Hey now, I might be lazy and dumb, but my work ethic is pretty good…usually,” He said as he reached forward to grab a grape and managed to avoid the hand that tried to slap him. He peeled at the tough outside and popped it in his mouth, grin staying on his face.

“I guess, I mean…you’ve always pulled through when it mattered most,” she said as she tipped her head.

“We should go to dinner, what do you say?” Naruto said.

“As friends?” Sakura asked, not even looking at him.

“If you want,” Naruto shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t as friends,” He said, this was normal too, he’d asked her out plenty of times.

Sakura put the knife down and looked at him…the fact that she put it down was a good sign at least. “Naruto…” she said.

“Why do you have to look at me like that? Like I’m some kicked puppy,” he said with a frown.

“Naruto…but you and Sasuke,” She said quietly.  “You said you loved him.”

“So? You said the same thing,” Naruto shrugged. He knew she still did, she really was better for Sasuke than him though…the only real issue he saw with them being a couple was how Sasuke would treat her. He was aggressive, and Sasuke was right, he wasn’t always a good person. Sakura and he knew that already, but Naruto figured he had a much better chance at enduring that side of Sasuke. Sakura wanted to fix Sasuke, and Sasuke would never admit to the fissures in his existence. Sakura would be good for him, but Sasuke wasn’t anywhere close to what she needed.

“Let’s go as friends, I mean…we are, we’ve been friends forever. It’ll be fun, maybe we can ask Sai to come along,” She said, he was glad she didn’t suggest Sasuke, but bringing him up now might have been insensitive to both of them.

“That’s if they do get back today,” Naruto said.

“Sai’s pretty efficient, they’ll be back,” she said.

Naruto sighed as she began to place the sliced bits of fruit in a cup and went to make a few pieces of toast for them both. “I guess you’re right,” He said.

“You alright?” she asked.

“Hm? Why you ask?” this wasn’t good, he was starting to feel guilty.

“You’re acting weird,” she said as she handed him a piece of toast and he opened his mouth and pointed at himself. “See, annoying,” She muttered but placed the bread in his mouth and he clamped down with a chuckle.

He chewed slowly and he looked over his shoulder at the bed and when he looked back to Sakura her eyes were wide. “What?”

“Nothing,” she insisted, but Naruto knew she was lying immediately.

“What would be so wrong about you and me anyway? I don’t get it,” Naruto said as he leaned back in his seat.

“Other than the fact that we both have it bad for some stupid jerk rather than each other? Nothing I guess,” She said.

“Yeah, I guess that’s pretty much a deal breaker,” He muttered.

“Naruto?”

“Hm?”

“Did you sleep with Sasuke?” she asked and Naruto choked on his breakfast.

“Why would you even think that? I mean, I haven’t talked to Sasuke in forever,” He said after he regained whatever semblance of composure he was capable of.

“I saw him on my way over…and you keep looking over toward your bed. He didn’t really want to talk to me. He didn’t say anything even though I know he saw me. You’re also acting really weird, I can’t think of anything other reason. I mean, it could have been a fight, but you two fight all the time so why would you be acting weird unless something happened?” she said quietly.

Naruto kept a lot of things to himself, but he didn’t really enjoy lying. He sighed heavily before he put the piece of toast down and took the cup of fruit Sakura handed to him. “He’s probably pissed that I threw him out,” Naruto said quietly.

“Why would you do that?” Sakura said, she didn’t seem hurt…at least not in that betrayed sort of way. He didn’t want to hurt her like that.

“Because I don’t have the will power to deal with him,” Naruto said quietly, he was wondering if he had the will power to resist.

“You, with no will power? Quit lying to me,” She said as she started eating herself.

“I’m no good for him,” He shrugged, great, now Sakura was calling him a liar.

“You’re too good for him and probably the best thing for him, you’re still being annoying,” she said.

“Best thing for him? Yeah, right,” Naruto muttered.

“You would be, you shouldn’t have thrown him out,” she said. He knew she meant that she would have taken the chance if she was given the opportunity, so she was giving him the okay to pursue Sasuke like it was Sakura that was holding him back. The only thing holding Naruto back was Sasuke himself.

“I don’t want to enter a relationship that’s screwed right from the beginning. I’m just going to wake up a year down the line to Sasuke realizing he doesn’t actually want me, and then where am I going to be? Too far invested to try and pick myself back up, I don’t want to deal with that,” he said.

“Now you’re just making excuses, since when have you been afraid of anything?” She said.

For some reason he could see Sasuke as a child making fun of him for choking when they headed out to wave country and he sighed. “It’s my life Sakura, I’m going to do what I have to with it, and it just doesn’t involve Sasuke like that. I have a village to worry about,” He said as he stood up and he went to go grab his over shirt and his band. Sakura didn’t get it, and neither did Sasuke.

-::0::-

The next day Naruto heard a knock at his door and he frowned. “Who is it?” He called out. Normally he’d just go and look, but he was lazy and comfortable lying on his bed with a few scrolls to look over.

“It’s me,” well, it really would be only one person.

Naruto sighed and he rolled over onto his front and was surprised when Sasuke didn’t just let himself in. “It’s open,” he said…he didn’t want to, but what other choice did he have?

The door clicked open and Sasuke closed it behind him as if he’d done it a thousand times when in fact, Naruto couldn’t really remember Sasuke ever being to his apartment. He didn’t like his familiarity because he had grown comfortable being alone, it was fucking awful sometimes, but it had to be better than this. Sasuke walked in much like Sakura did the morning previous and Naruto frowned. “What are you looking at?” Sasuke sounded colder than normal.

“What are you doing?” Naruto said. He didn’t like where this was headed, not one bit.

“I’m making dinner,” He said calmly.

“I already ate,” Sasuke looked at him a moment and he started unpacking vegetables and Naruto grimaced.

“You’re lying,” Sasuke said quietly and Naruto cursed inwardly before he rolled over to the edge of his bed and he stood.

“Quit saying that you bastard,” Naruto said, irritated.

“Then quit fucking lying to me,” Sasuke said not even looking up from what he was doing, Sasuke always knew how to make him feel like shit without saying much at all.

“Why do you always have to be a pain in my ass Sasuke?” He said as he headed over to the counter.

“That’s your problem, not mine,” he said as he sliced through a few of the things he brought.

“You know, Sakura comes over and does this sort of stuff all the time,” Naruto said, hoping to piss him off, maybe he’d leave.

“At least someone else cares that you don’t kill yourself with the disgusting shit you eat,” He said as he moved around the kitchen and started preparing something else.

“Fine…do you even know how to cook?” He asked, he knew it wouldn’t have been that easy, but it was worth a try.

“I’ve been alone since I was eight, don’t you think I’d have learned to take care of myself since then?” He said. He sounded so neutral, so different than he would have a few years ago talking about his family.

“I suck at cooking,” He said, and he’d been alone a lot longer.

“You’re a moron, would you expect anything more?” he said as he began cooking and Naruto looked over his shoulder at his apartment. He might have laughed if there wasn’t so much on his mind.

“You know she loves you right?” He said, they both knew he was talking about Sakura.

“And?” Sasuke didn’t seem bothered, but Naruto could see the tension in his shoulders. He could hear Sasuke thinking ‘why won’t you say it instead?’

“Never mind, Need any help?” Naruto said.  

“Wash those,” He pointed to the basket and Naruto shook his head. This was too familiar, Sasuke was acting like he hadn’t left, like he’d been here the whole time and like Naruto should just forgive him for everything he’d done. It wasn’t about forgiveness though, that’s the one thing Sasuke didn’t get.

“Fine, fine,” He said as he did as he was instructed.

“What I don’t understand is if you know about her feelings, why did you sleep with me anyway?” Sasuke was trying to aggravate him. Naruto wish he could have helped reacting.

“It was a mistake you asshole,” Naruto said angrily, if only to keep any other emotion out of his voice.

“You’ve known her better than I have for years now, I bet she trusted you,” he said.

“I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand,” Naruto said.

“It has to be for something bigger than attraction,” Sasuke said.

Naruto glared at Sasuke’s back, he understood now. he was trying to get him to admit it, well fuck that. “You know, if you want any chance at this working out I’d really suggest trying a different approach,” Naruto muttered.

Sasuke looked at him for the first time and he could see that he wanted to rebel against him. Instead his lips flattened into a straight line and he grunted in response. “I don’t know what you want from me,” He said.

“I want you to get out of my apartment, and go find someone else to mistreat,” Naruto said. If it hadn’t been for those two years Sasuke decided to disappear, Naruto knew he would have fallen at Sasuke’s feet. He would have been everything that Sasuke needed him to be. He was older now, maybe not by much, but he had a village to worry about, a village that he couldn’t sacrifice for Sasuke. He knew Sasuke could destroy him if he let him, he wouldn’t let him.

Sasuke was pressed against him a moment later, locking him against the counter and Naruto felt his will power beginning to crumble. If he wasn’t careful, he’d give in again and he couldn’t guarantee he could stop himself next time. “You think that’s what this is? You think I’m the one mistreating you when it’s you who has been dragging me through the dirt?” his voice was dangerous, murderous even.

“I hardly think rejecting you after you abandoned me is dragging you through the dirt,” Naruto said, trying to keep up a strong front as he leaned back over the counter.

“So the person you want me to mistreat is Sakura then?” Sasuke said, his hands resting on the counter at either side of Naruto.

“Quit twisting my words!” Naruto said, moving until they were chest to chest, feeling that anger spark inside of him. He remembered when Sasuke pissed him off like this when they were children.

“Then start saying what you mean!” Sasuke hissed before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Naruto’s…that wasn’t good.

When Sasuke pulled back Naruto’s eyes opened slowly and he had to jump start his brain, “Don’t burn my house down…” he said softly as he heard the sound of heat coming from the stove.

“Of course not, that might be considered doing you a big enough favour to get you out of this shithole,” he said as he pulled back finally allowing Naruto to stand straight.

“I like my apartment,” Naruto said with a frown.

“I wouldn’t expect much more from someone so simple minded,” Sasuke said. He could see Sasuke trying to be playful in that twisted way that they used to be, Naruto wish he could have responded in kind.

“I guess,” Naruto said.

“What’s with you?” Sasuke said finally.

“Nothing, what else do you need help with?” He asked.

Sasuke looked at him, not believing him, but turned back to what he was doing before rattling off a few orders and Naruto gave in and helped Sasuke out regardless of how conflicted he was feeling. When it was done they had a delicious smelling curry on the table and they sat across from one another. The small talk was unbearable, but to Naruto’s credit, he managed to get Sasuke to leave without sleeping with him.

-::0::-

Sasuke fell into this weird routine that left Naruto’s life a giant mess of confusion. If Naruto wasn’t on a mission, he’d stop by every night to prepare dinner for him, they’d talk or sometimes just sit quietly and exist. They never really needed to say too much to one another. Naruto hated that he was beginning to feel comfortable again even though every morning Sakura would prepare him breakfast before asking about his time with Sasuke.

“It’s late, I think you should go,” Naruto said quietly.

“Is this how it’s going to be?” Sasuke said as he looked down at their empty plates.

“What did you expect, Sasuke? Am I supposed to just fall into bed with you whenever you feel like it?” Naruto asked in all seriousness.

Sasuke’s jaw shifted “That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Sasuke said.

“Well, we’ve had dinner, that’s pretty standard. I had a good time…mostly, so you know…go home Sasuke,” he couldn’t say no, no matter how hard he tried, the words to cut Sasuke’s hopes off just wouldn’t come out. It wasn’t really like Sasuke had shown any further interest in sleeping with him again.

Sasuke’s lip twitched and he stood up and gathered the plates, “Let me do the dishes first, then I’ll leave,” he said.

Naruto watched him move to the small kitchen and he shook his head and followed after. “Let’s spar tomorrow,” Naruto said as he began helping the process along.

“I haven’t been to the grounds yet,” Sasuke admitted to him.

“You’ve been gone for a long time, Sasuke I can’t just…I can’t, I’m trying,” He said quietly as looked down at the plate in his hand.

Sasuke watched him, it was kind of said at random, but Naruto kind of forgot how to function properly anyhow. Sasuke didn’t say anything, he was expecting Sasuke to make fun of him. He wasn’t expecting Sasuke to lean forward and catch his lips in a kiss that was far too tender and understanding. It was going to break his resolve and he’d been holding on so furiously to it. Naruto responded to it with slowly gaining skill. When he pulled back Naruto’s eyes lingered shut and only opened when Sasuke finally spoke. “I’m not a patient person,” he said.

Naruto looked at him and remained quiet as he put the last dish on his ugly little drying rack. “Yeah, I know,” Naruto said quietly. It wasn’t that Sasuke was threatening him, Naruto could hear in there somewhere that Sasuke was trying too. He was waiting even though it was against who he was. Naruto suddenly felt like he was fighting a losing battle. He looked down at their feet for a moment before he looked up at Sasuke with a smirk on his face. They’d been at this for a few weeks now, this painful co-existence, “Wanna have sex on the counter?”

Sasuke’s brow rose, and for a brief moment he looked intrigued. He leaned forward and caught Naruto’s lips a second time, leaving him equally as moved as the first. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” He said quietly before he grabbed his things and headed for the front door without another word.

Naruto stared in front of him where Sasuke had been and tried to ignore the fact that he was shaking. He tried to ignore the fact that Sasuke saw right through him…if it was just sex, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad when Sasuke brought down the skies around him. “Tomorrow…” He murmured to his empty apartment, tomorrow Sasuke would come back and he’d be quiet and stoic and understanding. He’d be everything Naruto needed, everything that he didn’t think Sasuke knew how to be.

“Shit…” Naruto muttered as he headed toward the door, maybe a walk would clear his head.

-::0::-

“How’ve you two been?” Sakura asked as she cleaned around his house and Naruto snorted.

“Fine I guess,” Naruto said.

“You’re living the dream Naruto, I don’t get why you aren’t happy,” she said.

Naruto rubbed at his face and he groaned, “It’s not that easy,” Naruto said.

“Why not?” Sakura asked.

“Why do you think?” Naruto actually started to help when he was usually so content to let Sakura clean his apartment while she bitched at him about it.

“I guess there is a lot of history…” she said quietly as she rearranged some things that Naruto would probably end up bumping out of place anyway. “He came back though,” she smiled.

“But why?” Naruto asked quietly.

“You’d probably have to ask him. I’m not going to pretend I know anything that goes on in his head,” She said. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t good for Sasuke, she didn’t understand him. She’d been so unbelievably selfish in the past in regards to Naruto’s lack of parents on multiple occasions. It was probably hard to understand people like Sasuke and himself, she’d probably do the same to Sasuke by accident, and no matter how long it had been since Sasuke’s family had been murdered, he wasn’t as understanding as Naruto.

“I can’t see that discussion going far,” Naruto said.

“So, what’s he like in bed?” She asked, leaning on the kitchen counter with a perverted grin on her face.

Naruto felt the heat surge up to his face and he shook his head, “The hell? That’s really none of your business,” He said in comical outrage.

“Oh come on, I want to know!” She said with a coy smile.

Naruto scrunched his nose. That shit was private, but he felt himself talking anyway. “I dunno…he was kind of rough the first time, but it was good,” Naruto said rubbing at the back of his head. It had felt good, but there was an edge to Sasuke that he imagined was dangerous, even if it had dulled considerably over the past couple of months.

“And after?” She said nodding.

Naruto looked at here with a frown before he just shrugged, “Dunno.”

“You mean you’ve only done it once?” She said in disbelief.

“Why does that matter?” Naruto said, suddenly wondering if there was something wrong with him or maybe there was something wrong with Sasuke.

“You have Sasuke, what more could you want?” She exclaimed. “What are you waiting for?”

Naruto looked away and he took two unguided steps around his apartment, he didn’t want Sasuke because of how he looked, it was a welcome bonus, but it wasn’t anywhere near everything. “I don’t really feel like talking about it, how about we go grab breakfast out today, yeah?” He said with a grin.

“Spoil sport,” She pouted but she moved toward the door in agreement.

He was waiting for Sasuke to realize how much of a mistake wanting him was. 

-::0::-

“That was great,” Naruto said panting heavily as he flopped down onto his back. When his eyes opened he was faced with a deepened sky of soft lavenders and warm pinks as the sun started going down. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve had a sparring session like that,” Naruto admitted. They had made promises of sparring, but there they were three months later and this was the first time they’d ever made it to the training grounds.

Sasuke was panting as well, but mostly through his nose. His chest shimmered in a light sheen of sweat and he took two steps toward Naruto before he sat down and leaned back on one arm. “Hm, yeah,” he said as he looked up at the sky.

Naruto watched Sasuke, the other man had suggested doing this in the heat of another argument the day before. It felt almost natural again, right…he supposed the only time they were ever right was when they were fighting in some fashion. This kind didn’t hurt as much though. This wasn’t a battle of words that Naruto would never win. “That was fun, yeah?” Naruto said, smiling.

Sasuke seemed tense, but when he finally met Naruto’s gaze he nodded. “Yeah, it felt…”

Naruto felt bad, he knew he’d been more than difficult and Sasuke was paying the price for it. He wanted to put an end to it, to everything, to all this false hope building inside of him. “What? Say it,” Naruto said quietly.

“Like before,” Sasuke said quietly. 

He didn’t know how two words could hurt so much, but he let out a soft laugh anyway. “It did, didn’t it?” Naruto said quietly. Maybe…maybe if that hurt went away, it could work, they could work.

“Hn…” Sasuke looked back up and a long period of silence fell between them. It was nearly comfortable in the same way that things felt nearly normal between them.

“I can see why Shikamaru likes this,” Naruto said quietly.

“Likes what?” Sasuke didn’t look at him.

“Cloud watching...it’s nice and calm, and it’s kind of pretty,” Naruto said.

“I wasn’t aware he did that…” Sasuke said.

“I guess not,” Sasuke, to his knowledge,  didn’t do much outside of being on his own, probably spending time with Sakura, and feeding Naruto as it were.

“We spend a lot of time together I guess, he’s going to be my advisor when everything is settled,” Naruto said feeling a grin pull on his face. “He’d probably be better at this whole Hokage thing than me if he had any will to be active,” he smirked.

“How are either of you going to get anything done?” Sasuke asked, it was good that he seemed to remember some things. It wasn’t as if he’d never been here.

Naruto laughed to himself, “I dunno, I think it’ll work out,” he said. He liked Shikamaru, he’d at least make him stop and think and he probably wouldn’t hit him like Sakura, to make things happen.  “At least I’m punctual,” he’d always been good at that if there wasn’t something vastly more important weighing him down.

“One can hope,” Sasuke muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was beginning to cool down, and the heavy heat of their sparring match was no longer suffocating.

“Sasuke?”

“Hn…” that usually meant he was at least listening.

“What are you going to do now? Being back here that is…” Naruto hadn’t dared to ask, because he knew Sasuke wouldn’t side himself with Naruto or the village. There had to be too much bad blood between them, and Sasuke wasn’t very forgiving.

“Probably work on private contract…fix up my home, those sorts of things,” he said. Naruto wondered if fixing up a family was one of those things.

“Ah…sounds boring,” Naruto said.

“Your attention span has always been short,” Sasuke smirked.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m going to be Hokage, and who has been saying that since they were twelve? Huh?” Naruto growled.

“Sure,” Sasuke pushed at his face and Naruto managed another laugh as he pushed Sasuke’s hand away.

He watched Sasuke’s face for a while, amazed he could hold Sasuke’s gaze for so long before an idea crossed his mind. “Think if we did it here, that anyone would see?” He said with a smirk.

Sasuke shook his head, “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he said.

“You say that every time,” Naruto muttered. He wasn’t really one to question the act, all he really knew was that it felt good regardless of whether he’d been opposed to bottoming at first.

“You know, acting like a slut really doesn’t suit you,” Sasuke said. It was rare that he was so brutally honest anymore.

Naruto’s face twisted into some sort of a snarl and he snorted. “Screw off, you want to be together, but you don’t want to be more than friends. Make up your mind,” Naruto muttered. How could you be a slut when you’d lost your virginity weeks before with no encore? Sasuke made no sense.

“I don’t want you to hate yourself afterward,” Sasuke said…that was how he had felt, wasn’t it?

“Are you saying that for me, or for you?” Naruto said, his lip twitching.

“Isn’t it obvious?” it was, that’s what the scary thing was…Naruto was starting to believe Sasuke. It was starting to feel like the only one playing games was Naruto.  

“I’m hungry,” He said after a while and he sat up.

Sasuke was quiet as he stood before he reached down to slip his arms back through the sleeves of his shirt. The bottom hem had been trapped in the belt that hung at his hips; he had simply let the shirt dangle as they sparred. “My place is closer,” Sasuke said.

Naruto looked off toward the Uchiha district and he nodded. “I’ve never been to your place before,” Naruto said quietly.

“It’s nothing special,” Sasuke said…only the place his family had died in. It seemed too sacred to take lightly.

“If you want,” Naruto said quietly, giving Sasuke the first luxury of decision. He had a feeling something had changed between them, but he didn’t know what it was. He’d been good at reading people, at sorting out the impressions he had of people he met and the things they said. They were only impressions though, he’d never really been great at identifying what he sorted through, only that people were either good or bad, honest, or liars. The in between was a lot more difficult to put names to.

“Let’s go,” He said and Naruto quickly grabbed his coat and he followed after Sasuke.

People nodded to them as they walked by, sometimes with smiles on their faces, sometimes not. He wondered what it must be like for some people, seeing the monsters of the past and present walking together in the streets somewhat peacefully. His eyes were focused more on Sasuke though, every once in a while he’d look down. People knew about them, he’d received choice words of caution from Shikamaru, and maybe a little teasing from Kiba and who knows what from the girls, but they were mostly okay. His heart started hammering in his chest, it was so intense that he thought Sasuke would hear it for sure, but Sasuke kept on. He hesitantly reached forward, this was stupid because he wasn’t afraid of anything…well, he wasn’t afraid of much, Sasuke had always been the exception. His fingers touched Sasuke’s and the man pulled back and looked at Naruto for a moment with wide eyes. “Sorry…” he said and he rubbed at the back of his neck and he looked off into the crowd, and much to his chagrin he admitted he wanted to run. He wanted to tell Sasuke that maybe they could see one another tomorrow.

“Hn…” was all Sasuke said, and Naruto thought he was going to drop it. It was five steps forward before he felt Sasuke’s hand close around his.

Naruto nearly sighed in relief and for that pulse bursting fear he felt moments prior, there was a sudden surge of pride that flooded through him. This hand meant Sasuke was his and how dare anyone judge Sasuke for things they hadn’t even known he’d done. That wasn’t their right, judgement wasn’t their right. He could feel an almost peaceful aura around them as they closed in on the Uchiha district, still abandoned. He imagined Sasuke viewed this as a small victory and Naruto couldn’t really look at it as the huge defeat he would have defined it as the day before. “This is your house?” Naruto said quietly.

“Of course,” Sasuke said, like Naruto should know. The thing was though, it looked cleaner, it looked brighter and more vibrant than the other houses.

“Have you been fixing it up?” Naruto asked as they stepped inside. The paint seemed fresh, but there were echoes of a life here other than Sasuke, lives even.

“I take odd jobs sometimes, there are a few who pay me well enough to buy the things I need,” Sasuke said.

Naruto opened his mouth, he wanted to tell Sasuke that he had a job if he’d just ask for it. He had a pretty shitty sense of when not to say certain things, but something was telling him just to keep his mouth shut for once. “I like it…” He said quietly.

“I’m glad you approve,” Sasuke said sardonically, but there was a quirk to his lip.

“I guess my approval doesn’t really matter,” Naruto let out a laugh as he slipped his shoes off and followed Sasuke inside. He could feel Sasuke’s life before everything went so wrong. He could sense it in the way things were arranged, Naruto would bet anything that nothing had moved since they’d died…like a shrine. He found himself wanting to know more, wanting to make sure that whoever they were, that they loved Sasuke so he could have at least been blessed for a little while.

“Hn, what would you like?” He asked.

“Probably be way too good to be true if you had ramen in here somewhere, huh?” Naruto said.

Sasuke chuckled and shook his head, “I think my mother would find a way to strike me down if I brought it in here. She never let us have the stuff,” He said quietly, as if it didn’t hurt. He was happy if that were really the case, he didn’t know yet.

“It’s so big,” Naruto said quietly as they walked into the kitchen, he barely had three separate rooms in his apartment, he could already see four doors down the hall.

“Mhmm,” Sasuke said as he began to grab some things and start cooking.

He’d said the wrong thing, he could tell. Of course it was big, it was a huge mass of space just like his apartment was. Anything was huge when you were alone. The difference was, this was the perfect place if Sasuke decided he wanted to rebuild his clan. “What are we having?” their life seemed to revolve around food. Maybe it was because they were both so socially stupid, that this was the most basic spot they knew that social interaction was supposed to happen. Naruto knew that Sasuke would never hang out with his friends, and his friends had been giving him space while he’d been so moody.

“Omelette on rice,” Sasuke said simply.

Naruto leaned on the counter and Sasuke looked like he was about to say something, but decided against it. “Teach me how to make it?” Naruto asked, trying to be a little more optimistic.

“And let you burn my house down?” Sasuke snorted.

“Come on jerk, isn’t it supposed to be easy?” He growled.

“Then why haven’t you figured it out?” He said stepping into his space.

“Don’t have much time to learn how to cook when I have people who do it so willingly for me,” Naruto snorted. Naruto never had to cook anymore between Sasuke and Sakura.

“You’re so well kept,” He muttered.

“It’s nice being babied,” Naruto shrugged. He’d never felt it before, no one had ever wanted to take care of him, Naruto included. Sasuke quieted down and he kind of hoped that he hadn’t caught on to the meaning behind what he said.

“Get over here,” He said and Naruto grinned as he leaned over the stove a little. “Not too close dumbass,” he growled.

“I wasn’t even close!” Naruto yelled at him before Sasuke began to concentrate and run him through the seemingly easy steps. It was easy, it was comfortable, and there was a sense of lightheartedness where Naruto hadn’t been expecting it. The night gradually led the bedroom with Naruto on his side and Sasuke pressed behind him making his body sing. He was moving with slow languid thrusts until they both fell over the edge that left Naruto deliciously trembling in the aftermath.

“We need to do that more often,” He said softly as he twisted to lay on his back, his head turned to look at Sasuke.

“Agreed,” He said, he sounded sated.

Naruto smiled quietly and with his arm closest to Sasuke he coaxed him downward from where he was leaning over him on his elbow. Their lips met, this might have been what he liked best, the brief moment of peace he felt in Sasuke. “I don’t hate myself…” he said quietly.

Sasuke watched him before he settled down onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Naruto’s torso. “You don’t hate yourself…what else?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto’s disposition changed, Sasuke was still looking for it. He should give it to Sasuke, he’d never been so selfish before. “Why did you leave?” Naruto asked instead.

Sasuke eyes lingered on him before he leaned on his back too and he threw his forearm over his eyes. “I knew what was waiting for me here, and freedom looked appealing,” He said quietly.

“You’d lie to me now?” He asked, it was a horrible exploitation of their intimacy.

Sasuke tensed, “Maybe this was a mistake,” he said. Naruto didn’t believe that either, but it hurt all the same. Sasuke probably knew that already though. He probably knew it and said it anyway.

Naruto thought to himself as he turned to look at the pile of clothes that was laying on the floor. “You were afraid…” He said quietly.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” Sasuke said. Naruto was willing to bet he meant ‘hardly anything’.

“You were afraid it was too late…” it was one of those in between impressions Naruto could only guess at. Sasuke thought he might not be waiting.

“It’s starting to feel more and more like I was right,” He said, his voice deeper than normal.

“If you really think this was a mistake, then maybe you are right,” Naruto said as he rolled toward the edge of the bed and rubbed at his eyes before he made to get dressed.

“Naruto…” he liked the way his name sounded on Sasuke’s lips, he wished he’d say it more often.

“You owe me lunch since I beat you at the training grounds, asshole, I’m not forgetting it,” He said and as soon as his pants were on he headed out the door, happy enough to throw his shirt on as he walked away from Sasuke’s home.

-::0::-

“Why are you fighting this so adamantly?” Sasuke asked, he didn’t sound too angry but Naruto imagined beneath that mask of indifference that Sasuke was seething. There had been so much tension between them since he’d walked out on Sasuke. He didn’t want to move forward if both of them were having doubts…maybe he just liked that Sasuke was chasing him for once. He didn’t know who he was anymore, Sasuke was the only person who could do this to him.

“We don’t make sense,” Naruto shrugged.

“That’s the weakest response I’ve ever heard,” Sasuke said.

“It’s not like no one else wants me, or you for that matter,” Naruto said.

“You mean that Hyuuga girl?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged, “I dunno anymore. I think you and Sakura could work…”

“Every time she looks at you, she’s going to remember that other boy, how can you build a relationship on that?” Sasuke hadn’t been there, but Naruto was sure he mentioned it after the war had closed, when they were being treated and waiting to mobilize home, before Sasuke disappeared from his life for what seemed like the millionth time.

Naruto pushed Sasuke back angrily, but he didn’t punch him this time. He’d lost the will to fight Sasuke like that outside of the training grounds shortly after he’d punched him the first time. He doubted Sasuke would fall for it twice anyway. “That other boy’s name was Neji, or could you not remember? Oh, right how could you know…that was when you...you never really knew him, did you?” Naruto trailed off and he looked off to the side, he could feel the anger vibrating through his body as he clenched his fingers into fists at his side. “What am I supposed to see when I look at you Sasuke? She’s going to see Neji dying to protect us, and I’m going to see nothing but your arm through my chest, and the empty spot where you abandoned us. I don’t know which one’s more torture, the fact that someone loved us enough to protect us, or that you didn’t love us enough to stay,” If Naruto was completely truthful, he thought about the Valley of the End, but never because Sasuke could have killed him rather than he hadn’t been strong enough.

Sasuke was watching him, Naruto could see with every word he said, Sasuke realizing his poor choice of words. He was getting sloppy in his impatience. He wasn’t thinking his arguments through. “How about when you tried to kill me a second time…or when you tried to kill Sakura? How about that time when you left us again, isn’t that what I should think about in this fucked up relationship Sasuke? You’ve pretty much forced me to be worried about how long we have until you leave,”

“You still haven’t forgiven me,” Sasuke said quietly.

“That’s the fucked up part, is that I have. I’ve never felt like I needed to, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about it,” he said.

“I don’t think you know what forgiveness means,” Sasuke said.

“Yeah, I don’t know what a lie is either according to you. You can’t ask me to un-know the things you did Sasuke, it doesn’t work that way, the word you’re looking for is forget,” he said.

“I told you, I’m not a good person,” Sasuke said.

“I know who you are Sasuke…” it was the same answer Naruto had given him months ago. The only thing was that Naruto didn’t believe Sasuke was a bad person. Sasuke was here, he was moving at a glacial pace because of Naruto…every time Naruto wanted to move forward recklessly, Sasuke would stop him. A bad person wouldn’t try to save Naruto from himself.

“Yet you won’t believe me, do you want me to say it again?” Sasuke said.

“You don’t have to,” Naruto said.

“Then what do you want?”

Naruto bit his lip and he looked off to the side, “I want a world where any of this makes sense.”

“The only one confused is you,” Sasuke said.

Naruto really didn’t think so, “I’m tired,” Naruto said.

“Hn…It is late, I’ll leave,” Sasuke said.

Sasuke wasn’t getting angry at him when he probably should be. It wasn’t fair that just as soon as he felt healed from all their hardship enough to let Sasuke go was the moment Sasuke finally decided he cared enough to come back into his life. “You can sleep here,” Naruto said weakly it was very late.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Sasuke said.

Naruto shrugged, “We’ll just sleep, where’s the harm in that?” except that it was far more intimate than anything Naruto had allowed so far. They’d slept together, sure, but they hadn’t actually slept together, not like this.

Sasuke watched him, he was always watching him, and after a long moment of contemplation Sasuke nodded. Preparation for bed was methodical and Naruto wondered if they could be on the same page for just a moment, if his life would stray from unpredictability into routine if he gave in.

Naruto slipped into his double wide. It left hardly enough room for Sasuke to do much more than throw his arm over him. Naruto wished the safe embrace would translate to his mind and then maybe he could just concede. “Say it,” Sasuke said after a while.

Naruto’s throat was dry and he opened his mouth, but it felt too much like sealing his fate. He had no real issue with absolutes, but he couldn’t find the words. “Is now really the time?”

“I think it’s well past time,” Sasuke said, he could hear the anger, but Sasuke just held on tighter.

“Go to sleep Sasuke,” He murmured.

-::0::-

“You should fix up the garden area,” Naruto said as they sat out on the deck overlooking the untended yard.

“It’s not really my thing,” Sasuke muttered.

Naruto leaned back on his arms and his feet swayed where they hung over the ledge of the deck. Sasuke had a lot of time on his hands now, he wondered why he wasn’t open to learning. “Maybe not, it just seems odd that you’re fixing the rest of the house and this is going to stay…like this,” It was overgrown and could do with a little weeding.

Sasuke sucked in a deep breath through his nose before he took another bite of the apple he’d been tending to for the past while. “My father used to deal with the garden,” he said calmly.

“Yeah?” Naruto had seen the man maybe once or twice that he could ever remember outside of photos. He didn’t seem like the type.

“Mhmm, I think it helped keep him calm. I really don’t know,” he shook his head.

“Gardening can be pretty soothing,” Naruto said quietly. He kind of liked it, he’d kept a few small plants outside his window a few times. Extended missions seemed to get in the way of it, so he hadn’t started anything up in a while.

“He let me help once, I dunno, he kept to himself a lot. I thought it was one of the most exciting days of my life,” his voice didn’t betray a thing.

“If you don’t know what to do, I might be able to help,” Naruto offered hesitantly, he was committing…he was kind of committed anyway.

“You? What could you possibly do to help?” Sasuke’s brow rose.

“Che, you’re a dick. I happen to be pretty good at it, so do you want my help or not?” Naruto growled as he sat up a little straighter only to lean closer to Sasuke in some feigned attempt at intimidation.

“I find that hard to believe,” Sasuke said unaffected, Naruto felt like he could never get a reaction out of Sasuke when he wanted one.

“What do you think I did all day? Sat and twiddled my thumbs? No, I trained and when I couldn’t do that anymore I found other things to do,” Naruto was getting a little angry, but he tried to keep it in check, especially if the potential garden that was left behind was important. 

“If you think you’re up to it then. It’s a pretty large area, whatever you could grow in that apartment of yours probably can’t compare,” Sasuke said.

“I can do anything,” Naruto said as he leaned back again.

“I bet,” Sasuke said before he leaned back until he was lying down.

Naruto looked down at him before he flopped back too and he rested a bare heel on the banister. “What was your mom like?” Naruto asked.

“Gentle…I guess. She always seemed to know exactly what to say and do exactly what was necessary for me to feel better when she had a moment,” Sasuke said quietly and he rubbed at his eyes as if he were tired. “I don’t even remember her voice,” he whispered.

Naruto watched him before he rolled over and threw one arm over his torso. He rested his cheek on Sasuke’s shoulder, Naruto rested there with his eyes half lidded. “I’m glad that you have those sorts of memories though,” he said quietly.  It was a genuine moment. It wasn’t snarky, it wasn’t judgemental, teasing, or downright cruel, it was genuine.

“Really?” Sasuke sounded offended for a moment before he relaxed and let it slide. Naruto hadn’t meant anything bad, he was envious in a way. It was funny how a snapshot on one life was a lifetime in another, he didn’t want Sasuke worrying about him and his lack of life time though.

“They loved you so much,” Naruto whispered against Sasuke’s collar and he tightened his grip around Sasuke so hard he felt like he could have crushed him. Sasuke didn’t talk about them often, and the moments he remembered seemed so small and insignificant, but Naruto could see vast expanses of affection in each small detail.

“Maybe…” Sasuke sounded like he was fighting to get the words out, it wasn’t long before he rested his hand on Naruto’s shoulder blade.

“No maybe,” Naruto said quietly and he let his hold relax, but Sasuke didn’t let him go.

If there was ever a moment to say it, it might have been then...

-::0::-

“You’re clearly still pissed with me,” Sasuke said. They’d been together for a year now, some sort of fucked up together anyway. Sasuke had forced his way into the relationships that surrounded Naruto. He did it just for him, so that Naruto would feel comfortable being able to care for everyone in his life at once. Naruto was thankful, but it didn’t fix everything. Even though they had learned to have fun again, they’d sparred, they’d talked and just were stupid together, it didn’t fix everything.

“I’m not mad at you, but if you’re going to start a fight, I will be soon,” Naruto muttered. He was daring Sasuke to keep talking.

“How many times are we going to have this fight?” Sasuke asked.

This was a dangerous place to argue. He’d been spending far too much time at Sasuke’s house, it was too real and too raw. He should have insisted they go to his place, nothing was sacred there. “Until you get it through your head that I forgave you a long time ago Sasuke!”

“Then why doesn’t it feel like it?” he said. He was growing desperate, Naruto could feel it coming. Sasuke was going to leave him, and Naruto had abstained long enough that maybe he wouldn’t break when it happened.

“You’re the one not letting go,” Naruto said quietly.

“Then why won’t you say it, I know you feel it even though you seem to enjoy treating me like dirt,” Sasuke growled. It was funny that Sasuke thought their roles had reversed.

“You ran for seven years, I’d think you could handle one,” Naruto growled, and they were chest to chest again in the middle of the living area.

“I already told you that I’m not a patient person,” Sasuke said.

“Do you really want me to say it Sasuke? Because it’s not going to mean anything if you make me,” Naruto said.

Sasuke was quiet for a long moment, he was trying to formulate a plan. He did this a lot when they fought, he’d try and use Naruto’s rashness against him usually. “What are you so afraid of?” He asked.

“Just go ahead and say it Sasuke, tell me you’re tired of this okay?” It would save them the trouble, because they were coming apart at the seams.

“I’m not leaving. I told you that already,” Sasuke said.

“Maybe not physically,” Naruto said, he was tired of this fight too.

“I don’t take your meaning,” he said.

“You don’t want me…you think you do, but you don’t. You should just leave me and get it over with!” Naruto was too weak to leave.

“Quit telling me what to do!” Sasuke growled low in his throat and advanced on him. Naruto felt his back press against the wall as he glared at Sasuke.

“You’re going to get tired of this, I don’t know why we have to keep doing this,” Naruto yelled.

“Is that what you want?”

“Why does it matter what I want, I can see you’re getting sick of this,” Naruto said.

“Answer the question,”

“No.”

“No, it’s not what you want, or no you’re not answering?” Sasuke said.

It was both, but Sasuke didn’t need to know that, “Get off me,” Naruto said.

“Why do you have to be so damned stubborn? We both want this, why can’t you just be happy that things are going right for once?” Sasuke said.

“How long will it last though?” Naruto asked.

“I’m not going anywhere, I know you’ve deluded yourself into thinking I will because you haven’t forgiven me. Just tell me…what do I have to do to make you believe otherwise?” Sasuke pleaded. Naruto didn’t know that he liked this side of Sasuke.

“I’ve forgiven you, I’m not going to say it again,” Naruto said. Part of him wanted to give in and be that person that he would have been years ago. He wanted to welcome Sasuke into his life and make him believe that everything was fine, make him believe that he was a good person, that they could do anything because they were indomitable.

“Then what is it? I’m running out of ideas here,” Sasuke said. He still hadn’t moved away from him, his scent was intoxicating and maybe that was part of the reason he snapped.

“Yeah? What happens when you decide that I’m not enough? When you decide that you want to rebuild your clan? Where do I fit into your plans Sasuke? When have I ever fit into your plans?” he never had, that was beyond true at this point, and he was selfish enough for it to kill him every time he thought of it. “I’ve always just been an obstacle to you, what’s one more time?”

“I…” Sasuke was stunned. He had very rarely ever seen Sasuke at such a loss for words.

“See, that’s it, isn’t it? There’s no room for me in your life, so let’s just call it quits now before we’re in too deep,” He whispered quietly and he could feel the emotion pulling, forcing the tears to well up in his eyes. Naruto was in too deep.

“No…I’m not doing that,” he said, his hands moved to Naruto’s arms and the blonde turned his head.

“Don’t make it harder than it needs to be Sasuke! I knew it, you didn’t even think about it. You just blindly acted like you always do! You never see everything!” he never saw how badly he broke Naruto.

“What makes you think I haven’t thought about it? You think it’s not obvious that I’m the only one here Naruto? You think I don’t know that, when every day I wake up and hear nothing outside? This is my life, and the one time I try to allow someone else into it you pick a fight with me like a vindictive…”

“Go on, say it,” Naruto dared.

“I only want you,” Sasuke said weakly.

“For now,” Naruto wished he could step back, he wished it even more so when Sasuke’s lips descended over his. It didn’t cure the madness between them like he wished it would.

Sasuke shook his head when he pulled back. “I’m not letting you go,” He said.

“You’ve always wanted a family,” Naruto said. He did too, but their definitions weren’t the same.

“You are my family,” Sasuke hissed and Naruto shook his head.

“Is it enough?” Naruto asked. Naruto wished he was the selfless person everyone thought he was. He’d let Sasuke go, he’d let him find someone worthy enough to start a family with and he’d fall into his duties as the future Hokage and let that be enough. Maybe they’d lead separate lives and somehow manage to stay friends, but he didn’t want to. He wanted Sasuke to stay with him, he wanted to be it, the end all to Sasuke’s life, it was one of the things that made Naruto hate who he was.

“Yes,” Sasuke said.

“Why’d you come back?” Naruto knew why he left, but Naruto had been certain that Sasuke wanted to ignite a new legacy with his blood, and that was why he had shown up at the gates and turned himself in.

“You really are an idiot,” Sasuke muttered.

“Never said I was smart,” his voice was weak again. He could barely rasp out the words.

“Whatever I was doing out there wasn’t even worthy of calling an existence. Prison bars didn’t bother me when I squared myself with that. At least here, I might see you again before they decided I wasn’t worth keeping around,” He said, voice unwavering as his hands slid up Naruto’s arms to his shoulders.

Naruto shook his head, “Don’t…” He said softly, he was daring to hope.

“There’s a difference between you and I. I feel like it should be obvious, but I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve somehow missed it. Where you might create empires built on a unique trust and charm, I would fall them just as easily for you, to get to you. The existence of anyone else is trivial and unnecessary to me, I don’t need any other attachments and I don’t need anything else in the world if I don’t have you,” Sasuke’s voice was low as he spoke perilous words.

“And if you change your mind?” Naruto said, trembling with the weight of the words. Sasuke had always been so much better at this fight than him. Naruto could persuade and earn trust while Sasuke could strike you down as easily as he breathed.

“If you’re asking me to live without you, Naruto, I can’t. I refuse to,” His hands trailed to Naruto’s neck and he felt the warmth of Sasuke’s lips on his. Maybe Naruto was tired of fighting, perhaps this was the final stand and Sasuke had won the game that only Naruto had been playing.

Their lips parted for a second. Naruto took the opportunity to breathe while his hands moved to Sasuke’s ribs before his fingers clamped around the fabric of one of Sasuke’s too thin shirts. “I love you…” He said softly and tried to convince himself there wasn’t a tremor in Sasuke before he found his lips occupied once more. It was over, there was nothing he could do now but submit.

The force of Sasuke’s lips forced his head back, and Naruto’s hands slipped around Sasuke to grip at the back of his shirt, hanging onto it as Sasuke’s hands pushed at his own shirt. It had always been Naruto truly instigating anything like this, the fact that Sasuke was so desperate played to something deep inside of Naruto.

Sasuke’s hips pressed against him, flattening Naruto out against the wall of the living area. The friction between them forced both of them to groan and Naruto pulled his head back and panted heavily. He watched Sasuke’s face for a moment before the pleasure of Sasuke grinding against him caused him to lose focus. “Sas…” he tried, but Sasuke pressed on, his hand moving to unbutton Naruto’s pants before his hand slid inside. The grip around his member was too much for him to hold onto his thoughts and instead, his head fell back against the wall as the other man began to stroke painfully slow.

“Hm?” Sasuke’s mouth was at his throat, for the life of him he couldn’t remember what he was going to say, so instead he moved his hands down to push at his pants until he was able to step out of them when he remembered.

“Door’s open,” Naruto muttered, his eyes trailing over to the open screen that opened to an untended garden, a very low fence, and the street.

“No one comes here anymore,” Sasuke muttered against his collar bone before he pulled back giving his cock one final tug and Naruto whined in the back of his throat. “Off,” Sasuke said tugging at his shirt.

“I’m not going to be the only one naked in front of your door, what kind of exhibitionist are you?” Naruto muttered.

“Maybe that’s exactly what I am,” Sasuke said as he caught Naruto’s lips again, and somewhere in the cloudy recess of his mind he realized Sasuke was working on unlocking his own belt with his free hand.

“Maybe I’m not…” Naruto kind of liked this, it wasn’t romantic, soft or anything similar. They’d never been that way. It felt right, even on the tail of a confession as heavy as love.

“You wanted to have sex in the training grounds,” Sasuke muttered, and it was only moments later that they were both completely bared for anyone walking by to see.

“Temporary insanity,” Naruto muttered before he felt Sasuke press against him again and quickly lost any wit he might have had.

“You’ve always been perfectly insane,” Sasuke muttered with the hint of a growl in his voice as his hand slipped under Naruto’s thigh and lifted it.

“Hgn…” was all Naruto could say as his hands dragged down Sasuke’s sides and he took a moment to trail kisses across Sasuke’s jaw.

“Up,” Sasuke urged. Naruto’s lashes fluttered on his cheek and it took a short while before his eyes focused on Sasuke’s face and realized Sasuke had even said anything causing Sasuke to press on, “Up.”

“Oh…” Naruto let out a heavy breath before he settled his arms around Sasuke’s shoulders and managed to lift himself up so his legs could wrap around Sasuke’s hips. He could feel the heat on his cheeks and breathed out as his back was pushed against the wall.

“Good,” He murmured against Naruto’s ear, his hands were resting on his thighs, keeping him in place. Naruto’s eyes widened when he felt something slick at his entrance, he had been so out of it that he hadn’t noticed Sasuke at work until his digits began to press inside of him. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as it had been when they had first started having sex. It was brief moments before he felt Sasuke’s member pressing into him and he keened gently as Sasuke’s cock stretched him wide, his head thumped against the wall again. “So good,” Sasuke whispered, his mouth teasing along his throat, just below his Adam’s apple as he seated himself fully.

Naruto couldn’t speak as Sasuke began to lift his weight with raw power, setting them into a shallow and quick pace. Naruto’s fingers gripped tightly in Sasuke’s dark locks, and his legs locked around Sasuke’s hips, keeping him there, inside of him, driving him into a passionate incoherence. He left unable to do anything but cry out loud into the empty house. He wanted to keep Sasuke.

Sasuke’s movements ceased only long enough for their mouths to come together, the slide of Sasuke’s tongue was intoxicating. “I love you,” Sasuke murmured.

“I know,” Naruto whispered against his mouth, and suddenly none of it was enough.

Sasuke seemed to know what he was thinking when his thrusts slowed to a stop. He leaned his forehead on Naruto’s shoulder and panted heavily and Naruto fought to catch his breath as well. Naruto shivered at the lack of movement, but it wasn’t long before they were soon situated on the floor, Sasuke on his back and Naruto straddling his hips. He rested his weight on his knees before he helped guide the head of Sasuke’s member to his entrance and he eased down slowly with a breathy sigh. “You’re so loud…” Sasuke said quietly, his hand caressing Naruto’s stomach and the sides of his hips.

“What did you really expect?” Naruto breathed out as he finally found himself seated on top of the other man, shivering in anticipation. His hands rested on Sasuke’s chest and he leaned over Sasuke, his eyes watching the flush spread across his pale skin. Sasuke was almost cruelly beautiful, it was a wonder he could be attracted to someone as awkward and clumsy looking as Naruto.

“Wasn’t complaining,” Sasuke breathed out, and although Naruto was pleased at the comment he decided that they were both far too coherent and with shaky balance he lifted himself and dropped down in a short movement, drawing a growl from the man beneath him.

“Good,” Naruto shifted his weight until he found the best angle before he set off into a steady rhythm that left him calling out again, drowning out the sounds of their skin making contact. Sasuke’s hands moved behind him and gripped at his backside, he kneaded the flesh before he urged Naruto to move faster, and when he grew impatient enough he pulled Naruto forward, held him in place and thrust his hips upwards hard and quick. If it hadn’t been for Sasuke’s hold on him, Naruto was sure he would have collapsed as Sasuke scraped against that spot inside of him that ripped the whine from his throat and that caused the pleasure to build at an alarming rate. Naruto knew he couldn’t hold on much longer as the pleasure began to consume him. His forehead rested on Sasuke’s shoulder and he found himself holding his breath and the growl that sounded in his ear from Sasuke’s throat caused his cock to twitch and he was suddenly riding his climax out between their bodies only vaguely aware of Sasuke’s own cry of release.

“Shh…” Sasuke soothed as his hand stroked down his spine gently after he had come down far enough. Naruto sat there with the aftermath tingling through his limbs. “You’re shaking…”

“Shut up…” Naruto muttered as he felt the imbalance in his legs and decided to just stay there sprawled over top of Sasuke as the shaky response finally filtered out of him.

Sasuke’s hand didn’t stop even as he shifted to pull out and Naruto groaned. “No…it’s good,” Sasuke said as he rested the back of his hand on his forehead, the summer heat far too apparent, but still they didn’t move from one another.

“Wanna do that again?” Naruto asked, with a smirk on his face as he lazily rolled over to the side, letting only one of his legs stay flung over Sasuke’s middle.

“What about the door?” Sasuke said, a really soft reserved chuckle sounding in his throat as he accommodated the shift in position. Sasuke laughed and for once it sounded real.

“Whatever,” Naruto muttered. He felt better, he didn’t know how to explain it, but the talk had changed something.

They were quiet until Naruto started to shift uncomfortably and Sasuke sighed and turned his head until his cheekbone was resting on the wood panels of the floor. “Are we done now with this fight?” Naruto had a feeling he was going out of his way to specify what was finished.

Naruto looked up at the ceiling and he nodded, “I call temporary insanity…” he muttered quietly. He had fought hard, maybe unnecessarily, but Sasuke had never been anything but disarming, Naruto probably hadn’t stood a chance.

“You use the word temporary far too liberally,” Sasuke said.

“Yeah, well…shut up,” the blonde had very little argument, if any.

“It probably would have been too easy…” Sasuke mumbled.

“Yeah, you do make things complicated,” Naruto teased.

“Hn…moron,” he said hooking his arm around Naruto’s neck and he drew them both up for a lazy lip lock.

Naruto just smiled against Sasuke’s mouth and felt liberated.

 

 _I am feeling so small_  
_It was over my head_  
_I know nothing at all_  
  
_And I will stumble and fall_  
_I'm still learning to love_  
_Just starting to crawl_

_..._

_Say Something_

-A Great Big World

End.

…So this was difficult to piece together. I was hoping to have it done on Friday, but y’know…whenever I give you a time frame, you should probably double it. You get the update first though, I gotta go back and dumb down some scenes for other sites

I hope it was okay, let me know what you think~

OddlyEnded


	3. I'm not Going to Write you a Love Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nearly two years and they still haven't got it figured out.
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is officially finished. I had plans of writing more, but I'm so angry with the ending of the Manga that I just can't write for this fandom anymore.
> 
> I need to make it VERY clear. A lot of this fic relies on both Sasuke and Naruto being unreliable narrators. If you want a bit of a break down, which I normally don't offer, I'm going to put it at the bottom of the fic. 
> 
> Sasuke was NOT sexually abused, but does have consensual sexual history prior to entering a relationship with Naruto.

Naruto sighed when he opened his eyes and saw the soft light filtering in. There was a tree just outside the window that made waking up easier than it did at home. “Go back to sleep,”  Sasuke  mumbled as he turned over, his arm effectively trapping Naruto against his chest. 

Naruto snorted and he pushed at  Sasuke's  arm. “I  gotta  go get clothes though,” He mumbled. With how early  Sasuke  showed up at his apartment sometimes, he would have expected him to be a morning person. On the contrary,  Sasuke  liked to sleep.

“I don’t know why you don’t just keep clothes here,”  Sasuke  mumbled against his neck and drew him in closer. 

Naruto relaxed and shifted in  Sasuke's  hold until he was on his back and he could sling his leg over  Sasuke's  and he shook his head. “Because then I’d have clothes everywhere, and  y’know …I’m already disorganized as it is. I can’t go back to the tower looking like I did yesterday!” he said. 

“There’s a simple solution to all those problems,”  Sasuke  mumbled. 

Naruto opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling and his lip twitched into a slight pout. They had been together for nearly a year and a half and they had found some sort of normal. Naruto still had problems though, and they still fought. He imagined they would always fight. “Is there?” he said, playing dumb. 

“Just move in. Your stuff would be here and I’d make you organized,”  Sasuke  said before his teeth sunk into the nape of Naruto’s neck and his hands slid beneath the thin covers to tease at Naruto’s member. 

Naruto sighed softly as he felt his member stirring to life, but not before noting how  Sasuke  was already hard against his backside. “You can’t make me anything,” Naruto frowned. 

“ Hm , you’re probably right,”  Sasuke  admitted as he began to rock his hips gently, his member sliding against the cleft of Naruto’s ass. 

“ Mnn , I’m going to be late,” Naruto muttered.

“Not if you lived here,”  Sasuke  said. 

“Yeah, well right now I don’t,” He said as his breathing began to pick up. He wasn't equipped to deal with that sort of proposition right now. 

Sasuke sighed and his hand settled flat against his pelvis before slowly sliding up Naruto’s abdomen. “Do you really want to stop?” He asked as his insistent hands forced Naruto back onto his side. 

“I will punch you in the nose if you stop,” Naruto growled. All he heard after that was a deep throaty chuckle right by his ear before Sasuke's member pressed into him, drawing out a low keen in Naruto’s throat. It was so effortless being around Sasuke sometimes. Effortless enough that Naruto often forgot he was holding his breath while somehow still waiting for things to go wrong. 

“You’re so indecisive,” Sasuke tutted before his teeth scraped along his shoulder as he began long languid thrusts that had the pleasure building inside Naruto in no time. 

“Fuck off,” Naruto muttered as he sucked in a deep breath and held it unconsciously as the pleasure slowly escalated. He only remembered to breathe when he felt Sasuke's fingers press against his lips and he exhaled as he drew the tip into his mouth and nibbled gently. 

“The things you do to me,” Sasuke murmured as his thrusts picked up in speed. It was almost a dreamy haze until Naruto felt himself losing control. 

His hands pushed at Sasuke's hips, attempting to slow him down when Sasuke thrust again deeply. He was about to get angry when he realized Sasuke had stopped. It had almost been a dreamy haze of pleasure, but Sasuke was holding his hips completely still. “Damn it Sasuke,” He muttered. 

“You wanted me to slow down,” Sasuke kissed the words into the skin of his shoulder. 

“Not stop completely you jerk,” Naruto muttered. That build of pleasure had dissipated, as if he had just missed completion with the tip of his fingers and all that he had now was pent up sexual frustration. 

Sasuke chuckled before he pulled out and Naruto let out a frustrated whine before he Sasuke had shifted their weights and pressed him onto his back. His hands raked from his hips up his sides and over his arms until they were pinned above him in a strong grip. “As you wish,” He said quietly and Naruto felt the other man sink into him again. This is what they always were. It was a tentative connection where Naruto figured the other man was being a brat until Sasuke ultimately listened to him before taking the control back under a different guise. Sasuke liked that control, and Naruto would never admit that he’d grown quite fond of letting go as well. He’d been responsible for himself all his life, and he was going to be responsible for a lot more in the near future.

Naruto lost all speech capabilities soon after as Sasuke set long languid thrusts that left Naruto holding his breath until he was dizzy and falling over the edge with a loud cry as he spent himself across their bellies. Sasuke followed afterward with a growl deep in his throat. 

Naruto’s breathing began to return to normal and he slumped back into the bed. Sasuke promptly cleaned the pair of them up. “I hate you,” He muttered quietly. 

“I have it on your own authority that you feel quite the opposite,” Sasuke mumbled. 

“You’re such a romantic,” he huffed. 

“If romance is what you want, that’s not my problem,” Sasuke said simply as his arm tightened around Naruto’s hips. Fortunately, Naruto really didn’t want that. 

“Get off me, jerk. I’m definitely late now. Thanks a lot, you've turned me into Kakashi,” he muttered. 

“I don’t think Kakashi would be as agreeable to what we just did,” Sasuke said without missing a beat.

“Ew, that’s not what I meant,” Naruto growled and he shoved at Sasuke’s shoulder awkwardly. 

Sasuke just grunted. Naruto could hear the smirk on the bastard’s smug face. “Call in sick,” Sasuke said. 

“I’m never sick, they’d never believe me!” He muttered before he settled down into Sasuke’s hold. This was something he wasn't accustomed to. Sasuke’s arm was firmly over his hip, just like it always was. Naruto wasn't used to sleeping with anyone else nearby, even after all these months. “Hey Sasuke?” 

“Oh, we’re back on a first name basis, Naruto?” Sasuke said and the blonde felt a shiver run up his spine at how Sasuke spoke his name.

“Shut up…You know,” he trailed off and he looked off toward the open door that led to the hallway. He could see all the way to the other end of Sasuke’s house. “The reason you don’t…y’know, bottom or whatever...”

“What about it?” he could feel Sasuke shift uncomfortably and Naruto felt a vein of guilt. 

“You…did someone hurt you?” He asked quietly. Truthfully, the possibility had been weighing on his mind for some time. He could hear Sasuke’s words echoing through his head most times they fell into one another’s bed. He had no qualms with the way Sasuke needed them to be. Naruto was stubborn, but he was nothing if not dynamic. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Sasuke snorted. 

“It’s not a stupid question!” Naruto growled before he caught his brief moment of hot-headedness which was a rare feat. “I mean…y’know, you can tell me things,” Naruto said. They weren't exactly the most touchy feely couple out there. Naruto wondered if that was partly his fault. 

“I tried it, and the earth didn't move,” Sasuke shrugged as he moved to sit up. “It really wasn't a big deal, or even the slightest bit important.” 

“You’re sure…” Naruto said unexpectedly not jealous of the fact that Sasuke was the only person he’d ever been with, but the truth wasn't the same for Sasuke. 

“What’s your problem?” Sasuke said, getting irritated. 

“I care about you. Is that too hard to believe? Or are you just being a stubborn dick?” Naruto grumbled as he sat up too. That was what it amounted to. Sasuke’s hinted at past, and the fact that if Naruto showed the slightest bit of hesitation, Sasuke would stop without complaint. They had raised red flags. 

Sasuke’s demeanour changed immediately and he sucked in a deep breath. “I’m only going to say this once. Nothing happened, and there’s nothing for you to worry about,” he said. 

Naruto looked at his back for a moment before he nodded to himself and he stood. “That’s good…” He said and chose to believe Sasuke as he began looking for his clothes. 

“How long have you been worrying about this, moron?” Sasuke said as he geared up to shower. A luxury Naruto couldn't even think of affording at the moment. 

“I dunno, a while?” he shrugged even though he knew exactly how long he had spent worrying. 

They were quiet for a while, and it was just as Naruto was pulling his shirt to rest over the hem of his pants that Sasuke spoke up again after placing a hand on his shoulder. “I didn't mean to make you worry.” It was probably the closest Sasuke would ever come to apologizing. 

“Hey…I mean. Its fine, I’m just glad you’re okay,” Naruto shrugged as he turned and he caught Sasuke’s lips with his own before he headed toward the Tower, sure he was going to get screamed at by someone. He couldn't bring himself to care. 

* * *

“I don’t get what your problem is with each other. If I’m not holding Naruto’s hand for some stupid reason, I’m holding yours. You’re together, just figure it out,” Sakura muttered as she examined Sasuke’s arm. It was likely a mistake having placed the beams for the back deck so precariously on the railings. When they toppled over Sasuke had less than seconds to catch them with his forearm, causing a twist of sorts. Letting Sakura care for it was probably his second mistake. He was far too distracted these days. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. If you’re not going to do your job, get someone who will,” He said, not even looking at her. 

“I hate you,” She muttered. 

“Not the first time I've heard that, not even the first time today,” Sasuke shrugged. There were still some misguided thoughts about him. He didn't really blame the people for being wary of where they placed their trust. 

“So basically Naruto and you were fighting this morning, and that’s why he was late. Fortunately for him, Kakashi was even later,” She said as she got him to move his arm as she rolled her eyes. “How did this even happen?” She muttered. 

“I’m repairing my home and gravity decided to be a bitch,” He said. 

“And you didn't catch it because?” 

“Is it really any of your business?” he asked, not amused. 

“Naruto’s being a brat too, so yeah, it is.” 

“I asked him to move in and he said no if you really have to know. Come to think of it, you really don’t need to know,” he said wondering if he’d regret it. 

“That doesn't sound right. Shouldn't it be the other way around?” She said with a frown as she began to mend his arm. 

“You've clearly never been in a relationship with him then,” he said as if it wasn't obvious. 

“You two are a whole bag of problems that I wouldn't want to deal with on a good day,” She said, forgoing all politeness. “Did he say why?” 

“It wasn't exactly a question and it wasn't exactly an answer. All I know is that he doesn’t want to move in,” he said. 

“Well the answer is easy then,” She said. 

“I highly doubt that,” he grunted at the odd tingling he felt in his arm as she finished up. 

“Have an actual discussion about it.”

“I should take advice from a single woman, because?” Sasuke stared at her. 

“Who has really known Naruto longer, you or me?” She stared at him flatly. 

Sasuke growled as he stared her down. “Like you gave a shit about him all those years ago. I might have left, but I was his actually his friend when I did so,” He growled. He saw her flinch, and he couldn't bring himself to care. Maybe he was still a child, holding grudges over the things that children said years ago, things that weren't even directed at him. 

“You know, you sure hold yourself in high regard. I don’t see where misguided dislike measures up to trying to kill him, but I guess the lord of the Uchiha would know better than I what proper behaviour is. Tell me something, do you think there’s a universe in which you actually deserve him?” 

“I know what I've done, and so does he. You haven’t even considered your past have you?” He says, speaking with vitriol. 

Sakura stood up and went to wash her hands. “Get out, and make sure to rest your stupid arm.”

He watched as she exited the room by firmly slamming the door and he snorted. That probably wasn't the best way to go about things, but Sasuke didn't have a heart to care about it even if he did tolerate her on a regular basis.  

 

* * *

 

“You hurt your arm…trying to repair the back deck?” Naruto stared at him when he got back home, or rather, back to Sasuke's

“Why is this so hard for everyone to grasp?” Sasuke said, irritated. 

“It’s just that, I mean, you've fought powers beyond anything living generations have ever seen and you’ve come out ahead, and you’re taken out by a wooden beam?” Naruto said before he let out a small snicker. 

“I was distracted,” He muttered. 

“I told you to stop daydreaming about my ass, it’s unhealthy,” Naruto said with a grin as he poked at Sasuke’s shoulder. 

Sasuke growled and with a quick movement he had grabbed Naruto, and as nonthreatening as he could he knocked him to the ground with his foot hooked behind his knees. “Watch it. It hurts, but it doesn't hurt that badly,” Sasuke said from where he stood above Naruto. 

Naruto blinked and stared past Sasuke to the ceiling. It was only a moment before Sasuke saw the anger well up beneath the surface before it overflowed. “What the hell was that for you asshole!?” He said before he finally managed to get back on his feet. 

“Careful, I might be injure —”

“ — But you could still beat me with an arm tied behind your back. I thought you were supposed to be witty, ”  Naruto said with a frown before he shoved Sasuke back. He didn't make any other move though. Naruto was like that, but only sometimes. He couldn't figure out where his hesitation came from. 

Sasuke looked at him and his brows raised up in a challenge that Naruto oddly didn’t meet. “What is it?” He asked because he felt something was wrong. 

“Nothing,” Naruto frowned. 

“You’re thinking about this morning,” He said. He almost wanted to call the discussion off. For heaven’s sake, this advice came from Sakura. 

“What? No, the whole moving in thing? I completely forgot about that,” Naruto said as he grew tense. Sasuke got the odd feeling he was actually telling the truth. 

“Think about it now,” Sasuke said. 

Naruto stared at him before a perplexed look crossed his face. It was a common expression. “Is that you actually asking me? Because if it is, the answer’s no,” he said. 

“And if I actually asked?” Sasuke was trying not to get angry, but the tone in his voice was indicative of his failure. 

“No,” Naruto said with a huff. “Why do I have to move in?”

“Isn’t that what couples do?” Sasuke said, unaware that he had missed the real question. 

Naruto just rolled his eyes, “No fuck’n way Sasuke. I’m not moving in. If you don’t like it, break up with me or deal with it,” he said before he turned to leave. 

Sasuke stared wide eyed at Naruto’s retreating back. He’d never admit the reasons that he had for wanting to be careful as much as he couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t follow through with caution. He hadn’t wanted to make the wrong move in asking Naruto. Opening up a dialogue was the only chance he had, and somehow he had failed all the same. “Wait,” he said as he surged forward. 

“Go to hell Sasuke. All I wanted was to come here and just, I don’t know, do what the fuck ever. I had a long day at work and I can’t even relax!” He yelled. 

Sasuke had advanced regardless. He grabbed Naruto’s wrist and held it firmly. Had it been a bit over a year ago, he would have fully anticipated Naruto to turn and slug him in the stomach. Affection had tamed them. “You’re not leaving me,” Sasuke said. 

“Why, are you leaving me instead?” Naruto growled. Underneath he could see the fear there mixed in with expectation. Naruto told him continually that he forgave him, but he was living in a constant state of fear that his forgiveness had been misplaced. He saw it in the way he moved every day, and much like their current predicament, Sasuke couldn’t fix it either. Unlike Sakura, Sasuke knew his responsibilities. That hesitation and doubt was bred from Sasuke’s actions. From the moment he stepped out the gates, to the moments he attempted again and again to raze Naruto’s world to the ground. He wondered if they’d ever be free of it. He could be so fucking sorry, and Naruto could forgive him anew every single day and it still wouldn’t be enough to fix it. 

“Why is it that I’m getting the feeling that you wish I would?” Sasuke said. He was angry, considering everything. More than that anger, Sasuke wanted this solitude to end. They were together, they had faced things many other people never would, and yet their union could feel so genuine and superficial at the same time. 

Naruto looked at him and he huffed. “Get off,” He muttered as he pushed at Sasuke’s hand and Sasuke let him. Naruto brought his hands up to rub at his face and he let out a long groan. “I don’t. I just…I’m not moving in,” he said. 

“Why?” Sasuke genuinely asked. 

“I like my apartment,” He said. 

“Why on earth would you like your apartment? It’s cramped, small, awkward and always a mess,” Sasuke said and knew he had said the wrong thing immediately before the look of outrage crossed Naruto’s face. 

“Because it’s mine, Sasuke! It’s all I have. It’s cramped, and small, awkward, ugly, and it’s in a crappy part of town, but it’s mine. It’s all I’ve ever had and excuse me if I don’t want to move into some giant house that’s fucking perfect,” He said either not realizing the error in his statement, or believing everything he said. Both options were frightening.

Sasuke stared at him for a long time. It had grown so quiet that Naruto was about to turn and leave again. “We could —”

“ — What, you want to move in with me? Yeah, right. This is who you are Sasuke. You ’ re big houses, and family spaces, and straight lines, smelling good and all that good shit. You ’ re … regal, perfect, and memories, not whole levels of disarray and fucked up. What chance do I have of convincing you to move out ever?” 

“I’m not perfect,” Sasuke said. He was a whole different kind of fucked up, as Naruto put it. They shouldn’t make sense. There was no stable entity between the two of them, because they were monsters. They were monsters created out of fear, rumour, lies and truth. They were sins of the past and present. They were unfortunate mistakes with nothing but each other to keep one another from destroying everything. Sasuke wondered if it was how different they were in their similarities that kept him trying. That kept him so willing to do what he needed to do to hold onto Naruto, because no one else could be made for him the way the blonde was. If only Naruto needed him back. Sasuke was really starting to wonder. 

“See you’re not answering the question, which means I’m right,” He said. He hadn’t realized it was so much more than moving in when the day began.

Naruto hadn’t asked him for anything. He usually demanded in big loud flashy ways to do a lot of things. He made him cook, clean for him, sometimes he even made him pick out his clothes for the next day. It was always the little things. “You expect a lot out of me,” Sasuke said quietly knowing he probably expected even more out of Naruto. 

“I don’t expect anything,” Naruto muttered. 

“You do, they’re usually bad expectations though,” Sasuke said. 

“Because you’re not good right?” Naruto muttered. Sasuke had said it multiple times, even though everything he had done in his life time had been selfish and in many senses, evil, the past year was Sasuke being a fucking saint for Naruto for the prospect of what they could be. 

“You’re expecting me to ask you to give up your apartment,” Sasuke said. 

“You have,” Naruto said. 

“I’m not. Forget I said anything,” Sasuke said. Naruto wouldn’t ask Sasuke to give up his home either. They could live a million life times, and Naruto would never even consider it. Sasuke would do just about anything to keep Naruto, and he wondered if giving up his childhood home could be one of them even if Naruto likely didn’t want him to. Naruto watched him quietly and he seemed to relax. “Please…” Saint Sasuke. That was probably the scariest thought.  

“So I’m going to live in my shitty ugly apartment, and you’re going to keep living here?” Naruto asked, testing the waters. 

“Yes,” Sasuke said. He’d been living in silence this long, he could continue doing so. 

“And you’re just magically going to be okay with all of that even though Sakura said you’ve been whining about it?” Naruto asked. 

Sasuke nearly snarled at that, but he refrained. “I don’t whine,” He muttered. He wasn’t okay with it, but only because he wanted to make Naruto believe that they were more than just living spaces. He’d asked Naruto to move in, and expected him to say yes. Naruto wasn’t ready to let go and realize that the possibility of them having everything wasn’t an illusion. 

“The hell you don’t. Have you ever seen yourself accidentally step into a shower when it’s too cold?” Naruto muttered. 

“Shut up. You’re an idiot,” Sasuke snorted. 

Naruto looked at him before he let out a laugh. “I’m going home Sasuke, see you tomorrow or something,” He said. Before he turned to leave he placed a kiss on Sasuke’s lips and disappeared. 

Sasuke just pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, “Yeah, do what you want,” he shrugged. 

* * *

Their new normal wasn’t much different from what it had been. Naruto still spent most of his time at Sasuke’s, and Sasuke still showed up at Naruto’s place when Naruto didn’t turn up. The only real difference is that they had an awkward fight hanging over the both of them. If their new normal let Naruto keep his apartment, he was willing to deal with it. 

Naruto was laying on his bed when Sasuke let himself in. He could see it from the open door to his small pathetic excuse of a bedroom. That was another one of the things he liked about it. He always knew what was going on in his place. Sometimes he had to yell in Sasuke’s just to know if he was there or not. Here, he could practically hear him breathing. “What are you doing?” Naruto asked. 

“What was the last decent meal you had?” Sasuke asked. It was always about food with him. 

“Wasn’t that long ago,” Naruto growled, but was touched at how diligent Sasuke was at keeping him healthy. 

“As in the last time you stayed at my place?” Sasuke asked. The way he said ‘my place’ seemed the same as it used to be. Maybe they were okay. 

Naruto groaned and he rolled on his bed until he slowly slid onto the floor, “Yes, okay? You’ve got your confession out of me,” Naruto whined. 

“Like I needed it,” Sasuke muttered and Naruto heard some things in the kitchen being moved around. 

“Like you’re not a jerk-face,” Naruto muttered before he finally gathered himself off the floor and he headed out into the main area of the apartment. “Do you have any perishables in there?” he asked. 

“No —“

“ — Good, ”  Naruto said as he hooked his arm around the front of Sasuke ’ s shoulders and started walking Sasuke backwards. 

“What on earth are you doing, idiot?” Sasuke said, but Naruto could hear the amusement in his voice.

“Kakashi’s a jerk,” He muttered. 

“What did our  esteemed  hokage do now?” Sasuke said just before they reached the couch and Naruto used the ledge at the back of Sasuke’s legs to topple him down onto the cushions. His apartment was shitty, but some of his ugly rickety furnishings had been upgraded over the years.

“Wants to send me away for like, two months,” He muttered before he flopped on top of Sasuke. 

“You act like your light!” Sasuke griped when the air forced out of his lungs at Naruto’s weight. 

“I’m so light I’m basically non-existent, stop complaining,” Naruto growled as he stretched out fully until he was relaxed on top of Sasuke. 

“Right, what does he want now?” Sasuke asked as he shifted his weight a little.

“I dunno, some peace talks. Usual bullshit. He’s sending me and Shika out in a few days along with whoever else,” Naruto mumbled into Sasuke’s shoulder. Naruto had learned a long time ago that regardless of the unity their world seemed to have, there would always be naysayers. Peace was hard won, and hard maintained. 

“It’s your job, quit complaining,” Sasuke said. Naruto felt Sasuke’s hand rest in the middle of his back and he suddenly felt more relaxed. 

“I’m going to complain about it Sasuke. I’m going to complain about your dumb tomato soup that tastes amazing even though it’s disgustingly healthy, and I’m going to complain about waking up early and not being able to fall asleep. Oh, I’m also going to complain about how you’re so warm like the desert and it’s impossible to sleep with your big man hands all over me, and then complain that I can’t sleep without your big man hands all over me so if you can’t handle it, I don’t see how we’re ever going to get married, ever,” Naruto muttered. He wouldn’t admit that he was holding his breath. As usual, he had simply spoke without a filter and with complete disregard to the fact that he couldn’t even agree to move in with Sasuke let alone get married.

Sasuke was quiet for a time before he let out a laugh. “You really are an idiot,” he said, and there was something in how Naruto could hear the wide smirk on his face that put him at ease. 

“So you’ve said,” Naruto huffed. 

“That was a terrible proposal,” Sasuke muttered. 

“Yeah, well I guess it makes up for the shitty way you asked me out on a first date,” which Sasuke hadn’t, so there. Naruto was pretty sure he’d won. 

“Fine, fine,” Sasuke had rolled his eyes, he could tell. 

“I’m going to go to sleep now,” Naruto said. 

“Can I at least get up?” Sasuke asked. 

“Nope.”

“Oh, well I guess that’s settled,” Sasuke muttered. Sasuke would just shove him onto the floor If he wanted up regardless of whether he was sleeping or not. Naruto didn’t doubt that, but the fact that Sasuke just stayed put had him wondering if maybe he had been overreacting. 

“Try not to find someone better than me when I’m gone,” Naruto yawned. 

“I think that’s impossible,” Sasuke said. 

“I don’t know. I snore and I yell at you a lot,” Naruto was almost completely asleep. 

“I enjoy every moment of it,” Sasuke hummed. 

“Now who’s the idiot?” Naruto was asleep seconds later and only conscious long enough to hear Sasuke chuckle. The prospect of a healthy meal was forgotten. 

 

* * *

 

Sasuke woke to Naruto straddling his lap and his lips mouthing along his jaw. He let out a hum and his hands moved up the blonde’s sides effectively drawing his shirt upward. Naruto’s weight against him was so pleasant that he managed to forget the pains in his back from sleeping on the couch.

“Mn, caaan’t,” Naruto whined against his lips when Sasuke’s fingers slipped into the belt loops of his pants and gave them a firm tug. 

“You started it,” Sasuke muttered as his head fell back. Sasuke didn’t go any farther, he never did and never would if Naruto hesitated. 

“Some of us have wooork,” Naruto whined. Sasuke knew that the blonde was about to start trying to convince himself to go and get ready for said work. 

“Some of us do,” Sasuke said before letting his tongue swipe across Naruto’s top lip before engaging another slow languid lip lock. It angered him sometimes that this is what they could have been, and he had given up every moment they could have had because his ideals had been so messed up. 

“Yeah, and can’t lay around in…couch all day being fucked by you,” He murmured. Sasuke shivered at the words. Sasuke didn’t know how Naruto could sound so inexperienced and so sultry at the same time.

“No, you can’t,” Sasuke agreed. Naruto couldn't afford the time, but their day started with Naruto panting and keening as he rode Sasuke regardless and ended with another noise complaint from the neighbours.  

 

* * *

 “When do you head out?” Sasuke asked. He had just come back in from outside where he was working on the deck. It was summer and even though the days ran long, daylight had to run out sometime.

“In the morning,” He said as he laid down on the couch and let out a heavy sigh. He had offered to help, but if he were to be honest, he probably set Sasuke back more than he actually assisted him. Sasuke didn’t seem to mind at least. 

“Are you packed already?” Sasuke asked. 

“Kind of? I started, and then you kind of distracted me with your tongue in my mouth the other day and I guess I never got back to it,” Naruto said with a nervous laugh and he pulled at the collar of his shirt. 

“So easily distracted. Really, you should have more self-control,” Sasuke tutted. 

“Me? You were the instigator!” He growled in feigned offense. 

“This time,” Sasuke said as he dabbed at his face with a towel he had grabbed. It was still insufferably hot outside, but Naruto supposed that could true even in the winter months. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Naruto muttered as he watched Sasuke. The man was stiff, and Naruto cursed himself sometimes with the way he could fly off the handle. He had agreed to this, right? He knew all the connotations of their relationship, and he knew all the denotations that came from their unique beginning and everything that led up to it. He also knew by the stiff but accepting way Sasuke had been acting for the past few weeks meant he was shouldering a lot of the blame. Naruto didn’t know how to take it off though. He could tell Sasuke, but Sasuke would continue to question why he wouldn’t consider moving in. Naruto would have to think of a logical answer. All Naruto had were feelings, he wasn’t good with all that word bullshit like Sasuke. There were still times when he had to stop and look at someone else just to make sure he had used a word correctly. 

“You should have a shower,” Sasuke said. 

“Yeah, probably,” he hummed. His eyes didn’t move from Sasuke’s face though. 

“What?” Sasuke snorted in an annoyed manner. 

“Your hair is all shaggy,” He hummed. 

“This coming from you?” Sasuke rolled his eyes. 

“My hair is messy, not shaggy,” Naruto said as he sat up and he tousled it a little. 

“I’m failing to see the difference,” Sasuke said as he lowered the towel to stare at Naruto. 

“I’ll trim it for you. Y’know, before I leave?” Naruto offered. 

“Leave the house?” Sasuke asked and Naruto blinked. He hadn’t even considered the fact that he’d have to go home to pack still. 

“I guess so,” Naruto said quietly and he began to think. He didn’t know if Sasuke was showing him the inconvenience of them living apart on purpose or not. 

“Better get on with it then,” Sasuke said. 

Naruto didn’t move after Sasuke started heading toward the bathroom though. He tipped his head and looked around the house and breathed in. It didn’t smell old anymore like it did when he first visited. The dust smell had faded and along with all of Sasuke’s repairs it was starting to feel a little more comfortable to be in. “Hey Sasuke?” He called as he pushed off of the couch. 

“What?” Sasuke sounded annoyed. In the end it never really deterred Naruto. He kind of loved it when Sasuke sounded all frustrated. 

“Come over to my place,” He said while he approached Sasuke. When he finally got to him he rested his chin on his shoulder. 

“What if I don’t want to?” Sasuke said. 

“But I’m not going to see you for a while,” Naruto said quietly. It was one of those rare times that he couldn’t tell whether or not Sasuke was kidding around. 

“You see me all the time,” Sasuke said as he stepped away from Naruto and he sighed heavily. 

“That’s not what matters and you know it,” Naruto said as he leaned on the door frame to Sasuke’s room instead. 

“Fine, let’s go then,” Sasuke said and Naruto finally saw the smirk on his face that set Naruto’s mind at ease. “I have clothes at your place anyway.” 

Naruto grinned when Sasuke agreed and he nodded and headed to put on his shoes, not unlike a little kid. The walk to his place didn’t take too long. There was hardly anyone on the streets which left very few to stare at them as they walked down the street close enough together that it proved intimacy. Nearly two years and Naruto would have figured that people would have gotten over it.

 

* * *

 

“I bet you anything that you would just let it grow and grow while I was away, you’re such a baby,” Naruto mumbled as he fussed with Sasuke’s hair. The man was standing in front of the mirror while Naruto hovered over him as he worked on shortening Sasuke’s stubborn hair. 

“I’m hardly an infant, infant,” Sasuke said with a snort as he tipped his head to make the process easier for Naruto.

“Yeah right, you’d just be walking around with your hair completely blocking your vision. How are you ever going to live without me?” Head straight,” he mumbled when Sasuke’s head started tilting.

“Well I can feed myself just fine, unlike some people. I think I’d fare a lot better than they would,” Sasuke said. 

“I can cook,” Naruto growled. 

“Hardly.” 

“Hey, watch it asshole. I have the scissors remember? I could easily let you walk out here with a bowl cut. You and lee could be twins,” Naruto growled.

“If that’s what you’re into,” Sasuke shrugged. 

Naruto’s teeth clicked when he closed his mouth and he snorted as he continued. “Well played Uchiha, well played,” he said before he carefully tried to guide the excess hair into the waste bin.

“Done?” 

“Yeah, get out of here jerk-face,” Naruto said. 

“I feel touched that you asked me over, your hospitality is a thing of legend,” Sasuke said. 

“You’ve never complained before,” Naruto stuck his tongue out. They looked at each other for a moment before Naruto let out a laugh and Sasuke simply chuckled. 

“I’m going to shower, you go pack,” He said as he turned and walked into the shower room. 

“Yes sir,” Naruto mock saluted before he shook off anything that might have gotten on him and exited the room to do as he should have done earlier that day. 

It was about an hour before they were both laying in Naruto’s bed. It was quiet except for the low mumble of people outside, or in other apartments. Naruto’s place was never entirely silent. That was something he usually liked, when people weren’t outside drunk and yelling at random or yelling at each other. “Hey Sasuke,” Naruto murmured. 

“I’m trying to sleep, moron,” Sasuke mumbled as he shifted in the bed to lay on his stomach. 

“Yeah, sure,” Naruto fought the urge to roll his eyes. 

“What do you mean by sure?” Sasuke said without opening his eyes. 

“You never really go to sleep until you’re plastered to me like a second skin,” Naruto said quiet as if he’d wake someone else up in the apartment if he spoke louder.

“Telling bold faced lies, Naruto. That’s just unattractive,” Sasuke yawned. 

“It’s nothing but the truth asshole. I should know, you’re like a million degrees,” Naruto muttered. 

“Well excuse me,” Sasuke muttered. They’d had this conversation before, well more like Naruto yelled it at him. The fact that Sasuke didn’t give a single damn came when his arm hooked around Naruto’s middle and urged him closer. “Happy now?” Sasuke said.

“You know Sakura’s still mad at you…what did you even say to her?” Naruto asked. 

“You’re choosing the night before you leave to start this conversation?” Sasuke said. 

“I guess,” Naruto shrugged. 

“Why does it matter, we’re not friends,” Sasuke said. 

“You don’t mean that,” Naruto said. 

“If you say so,” Sasuke said. 

“You guys ever going to make up?” Naruto asked. 

“Couldn’t care either way,” he said. Naruto didn’t believe him. 

“Yeah, well…she’d probably be happier if you did. I probably would be too,” Naruto said. 

“Naruto, I’m —”

“ — Not a good person, yeah I get it, ”  Naruto rolled his eyes this time.  “ Fine, do what you want, ”  he said.

“I usually do,” Sasuke said. It wasn’t really a fight, it didn’t feel like it, but Naruto was annoyed. Sasuke didn’t move his arm. 

“Sasuke?” Naruto said after a long stretch of silence. 

“What now?” Sasuke said burying a little deeper into Naruto’s side. 

“I’m going to miss you…” He said. It had been nearly two years, but Naruto hadn’t really ever been away for very long. A week or two at most.

“Then finish the mission quickly and you’ll be back sooner,” Sasuke said. It was Sasuke for ‘likewise.’  

“I guess so,” Naruto said.

“Go to sleep.” 

“Fine, fine,” Naruto muttered as he settled back down. It was short minutes before Sasuke fell asleep in his usual position. Naruto would likely kick him away in his sleep by morning. It was almost normal. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you ever stop complaining?” Shikamaru said with a heavy sigh as he settled down onto the ground. Their other teammates had decided to head to the town not far off to gather supplies while Shikamaru and Naruto stayed at their campsite. 

“No, why does everyone ask that?” Naruto grumped as he flopped onto his back. 

“Probably because it’s irritating,” Shikamaru shrugged. 

“Yeah, well they’re being irritating when they ask, so there,” He said and he scratched at his rib cage. 

“I’m going to regret asking this, but what’s going on?” He asked. Shikamaru always treated him like he was nothing but a bother, but Naruto knew they were friends. Shikamaru had always been one of the people he had been most comfortable around even back when everyone had alienated him. 

“What do you mean?” Naruto asked not moving from his position. 

“You’ve been acting weird the entire mission,” Shikamaru said with a sigh before he laid down on his back as well as he casually picked at his teeth. 

“Do you really want to know?” Naruto asked.

“Yes and no,” Shikamaru said honestly. 

“Che, just wait until I’m Hokage. I’m going to put you to work,” Naruto muttered in annoyance. 

“I resign,” Shikamaru said with a quirk to his lip. 

“Good,” Naruto stuck out his tongue. 

“So are you going to actually answer me, or are you going to dance around the question ten more times before you eventually break down and spill it all?” Shikamaru said a few minutes later after a nearly silent chuckle.

“You know, you take a lot of fun out of human interaction when you break it all down and shit just to get to the point,” Naruto muttered and sighed. 

“Yeah, I’ve been known for my wild and unpredictable ways. In honour of that comment, what will it be? We’re at nine more attempts at dancing around the question,” Shikamaru said as he watched the clouds glide across the sky. 

“Do you really care?” Naruto asked. 

“Eight. Isn’t it my obligation to care as your friend?” Shikamaru said. 

“You should want to care,” Naruto muttered. “Fine, whatever. Sasuke and I had a fight and now it’s all weird, but I still miss the stupid great smelling bastard.” 

Shikamaru was quiet in the following minutes. His eyes were half lidded and almost glazed over, but Naruto knew he was just processing everything. “A fight about what?” 

“He sort of asked me to move in?” Naruto said quietly.

“Sort of?” 

“Yeah, well…at first it was sort of, then he actually asked. I said no. He got mad, I got mad, everyone was mad,” He said as he started gesturing. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about it, not even Sakura. He really didn’t want to because then he’d have to deal with the fact that he was going to have to move in with Sasuke eventually. 

“You’ve been together around two years, yeah? You don’t feel ready?” Shikamaru asked. 

“Not really. I dunno, it’s not like other relationships,” He said. 

“How would you know? Isn’t it your first one?” Shikamaru asked. 

“Hey now…I mean yeah, it is, but…” 

“He was a Missing Nin,” Shikamaru supplied.

“Well, that’s not really the entire thing. That’s part of it though,” he said before rolling onto his stomach and resting his cheek on his folded arms Shikamaru always managed to arrive at parts of the answer along the way. 

“What’s the entire thing then?” Shikamaru asked. 

Naruto sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Shikamaru wasn’t really one to pry, especially if it meant too much effort. The other man really just wanted all the facts before he weighed in. He was socially smart enough to stop before going too far though, unlike some other people he knew. “I dunno…I guess I feel obligated to do it, and I don’t want to move in if I feel obligated,” He said before he walked Shikamaru through the entire incident, from Sasuke’s weird proposal to move in, to their awkward interactions following.

“Hm…I think that a lot of what you feel is reasonable,” Shikamaru said. 

Naruto frowned as he thought over the wording, “What part of it isn’t reasonable?” Naruto asked. 

“I don’t think you heard yourself. You told him your apartment is all you have. Regardless of logic and people’s ability to think past the limits of another’s spoken word, you basically devalued his worth to you to nothing,” Shikamaru said. 

“What?” Naruto asked genuinely confused. 

“If your apartment is all you have, it sounds like you don’t think Sasuke is as important as it is,” Shikamaru sighed and shook his head. “You’re such a pain.” 

Naruto blinked and he shook his head. “That’s crazy. That isn’t what I meant at all!” Naruto growled as he sat up. 

“I know that, but does Sasuke?” Shikamaru asked. 

Naruto frowned and he looked down at his lap. “Why wouldn’t he? I mean we’re not all lovey dovey and shit, but…damn it Shikamaru,” Naruto said. 

“Yeah, but you kind of said your apartment was more important, and then you refused to move in with him. I’m sure anyone else would be shaking in fear,” Shikamaru said. 

“I don’t think so…” Naruto said, but he was considering what he said. 

“Hopefully you’re right,” he said. 

Naruto closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath as he thought back on all the conversations he and Sasuke had. “You know I lack the ability to think before I talk right?” 

“You lack the ability to do a lot of things,” Shikamaru said. 

“I hate you sometimes,” Naruto muttered. 

“Likewise,” Shikamaru said, somehow managing to outwit him in a mundane manner. 

“Whatever, anyway…you know that. Sasuke knows that. You really don’t think it’s that big of a deal, do you?” Naruto asked quietly. 

“He probably does, but he probably sees you butting heads with him at every turn too. I don’t know Sasuke all that well, but I imagine even he’d start to doubt himself by this point. You don’t exactly make things easy, if everything you whine about is true,” he said. 

“I don’t whine,” Naruto muttered. He was about to say more when Shikamaru levelled one of his less than impressed stares at him and he sighed. “Yeah, fine, I whine…” he agreed. 

“You should probably talk about it again…rationally,” Shikamaru said. 

“And say what? That I still would rather have my apartment, than move into his house?” Naruto asked. 

“Maybe tell him why this time,” he said. 

Naruto was quiet and he shook his head quietly. “I don’t even know where to begin,” he said. 

“I’m bored now,” Shikamaru said as he sat before standing and heading off toward the main section of camp. 

“We’re going to have to talk about your dedication when I’m in charge!” Naruto growled. 

“I resigned, remember?” Shikamaru called over his shoulder before shoving his hands in his pockets. 

Naruto shook his head and he rested his head back down. Shikamaru was letting him figure it out on his own. It wasn’t as if Shikamaru’s tentative relationship with Temari gave any basis for advice anyway. Maybe the brunette was right though. 

 

* * *

Naruto stumbled into his apartment late that night. Their team had been attacked by bandits on the way back. They weren’t entirely a problem, what really made it tiring and got Naruto injured was the fact that their other teammates were absolutely incompetent. He managed to get a nice gash to his side as he pushed someone out of the way. Whatever it was on that blade made the healing a bitch, so he had opted for going back to his place for a short breather before heading over to Sasuke’s to let the needy bastard know he was back. 

He didn’t make it two steps before he sensed someone else in the apartment, and it took a mere second more to figure out who it was. “Sasuke?” Naruto said in confusion. Damn it, he was trying to avoid Sasuke for just an hour more. 

“You’re back,” was all Sasuke said as he looked up from where he was getting up off the couch and putting a scroll down. 

“You’re in my apartment,” Naruto said with a frown. 

“I guess I am,” Sasuke said as he walked forward. 

Naruto was about to lean into Sasuke when he approached, thinking Sasuke was going to kiss him when he felt a hand just over the wound he had obtained. “God damn it Sasuke, what the hell?” He growled as he shoved Sasuke back a step. 

“You were going to hide this,” Sasuke said with a sneer. 

“Fuck, I was not. Even if I was, why was your solution to shove your hand in it?” Naruto hissed as he unzipped his coat. The mesh of his shirt was torn and the ugly bruise and fading scar was visible. It looked bad, but it was much better than when he’d first gotten it. It felt like maybe it had opened up again, but it was far too healed for that. 

“Shikamaru stopped by my place while you were debriefing,” Sasuke said. 

“Oh he thinks he resigned, that bastard is so being fired instead,” Naruto said. 

“He told me you refused to go to the hospital,” Sasuke’s tone was growing icier. “I thought about staying at my place, but I know you better than you think,” his voice was low and dangerous and Naruto wouldn’t admit it to anyone but himself, but he might have been a little turned on. 

“I just wanted a shower,” Naruto said quietly. “Besides, why should I go to a hospital? I dunno if you’d believe it, but it looked like, ten times worse a couple of hours ago,” He said still holding his jacket out of the way so the ugly yellow and purple ‘scarring’ was visible.

“Is that supposed to comfort me?” Sasuke said as he started pushing Naruto’s coat off of him to get a better look. 

“Hey…I’ve had worse,” Naruto said with a shrug.

Sasuke looked up at him and his lip twitched and his hand moved up to his shoulder. Naruto couldn’t hide the slight flinch. “Yeah, like ones from me,” Sasuke said. 

Naruto frowned and he grabbed Sasuke’s hands. “Yeah, I guess so,” Naruto said, trying to sound unconcerned with the topic. 

“You should have went to the hospital, In fact, I should take you there right now,” Sasuke said. 

This was a side of Sasuke that Naruto hadn’t seen. He’d come back with scrapes and bruises, and been in the hospital once since Sasuke had gotten back, but they hadn’t been together then. “Hey…” Naruto waited until Sasuke was looking at him, “Stop worrying, I’m fine,” he said  

He had expected some sort of banter, a smart ass remark, anything that would lift the tension. “Sure,” Sasuke said quietly, his head tipped down as he finally stood straight and took his attention off the ugly looking gash. 

“Sasuke…” Naruto tried to find something that might make it better. He was just about to agree to going to the hospital when Sasuke urged him toward the bathroom. 

“Damn it, Naruto. If you had just come to my place we’d be able to use a better tub,” He muttered.

“What about the hospital?” Naruto frowned. 

“The mark is fading. If it had been any one else…I don’t care about anyone else though,” Sasuke said. 

“Yeah, it’ll probably be gone by morning. The medic pulled out all the poison he could anyway,” he murmured. 

“Shut up and get in the shower,” Sasuke said. 

Naruto watched Sasuke as he took the jacket he had forcibly removed from Naruto and folded it. If it wasn’t for Sasuke, Naruto would probably be living in a giant pile of untidiness. “Yeah, okay,” He said quietly as he headed toward the shower. He didn’t really want to, he’d much rather sink into the tub without the shower song and dance. Too bad it didn’t work that way. 

Naruto stepped into the bathing stall in and he began to wash himself. He heard Sasuke heading his way, so he wasn’t surprised when he felt a second pair of hands on him. This intimacy was a little new though. He was used to Sasuke wanting to be close, he was used to the odd moments of tenderness. This was almost too much. “Close your eyes,” Sasuke said quietly. 

Naruto looked at him. He saw the lines under his eyes that were oddly remnant of Sasuke’s older brother, and the tightness at the corner of his lip. Rather than complain, or protest, Naruto simply did as he was told. Water fell over his head and Sasuke began to wash his hair before he moved down his body. “I’m fine, you know…I mean, we saved the world once, remember?” Naruto said. 

“Quit talking,” Sasuke growled. That was a little more normal, and it made Naruto relax. Sasuke might be taking care of him, but Naruto saw the signs that Sasuke had a fitful time in his absence.

“Fine…” He said. It was short moments before they were both clean. Sasuke had been careful around the still fading wound. It was better even now, than when Sasuke had first seen it. When Naruto was finally able to sink into the tub of water that Sasuke must have set up before he’d gotten back, he let out a groan. “Okay, I think that this is probably the best moment of my life,” Naruto murmured quietly, just after Sasuke settled down across from him. 

“Should I be offended?” 

“Only if you think that me relaxing with my boyfriend in a glorious bath is offensive. Don’t worry, some people probably think it is, so you’re not alone at least,” Naruto said, with a bitter grin tugging at his mouth at the way people might perceive them. 

“I think it’s more who I am than what gender either of us are,” Sasuke said. 

“Fuck em,” Naruto shrugged. They were the same people that cast him aside and treated him like shit when he was a child. 

Another silence fell around them and Sasuke’s thumb grazed against his side, now just a bruise and a white scar. “I spoke with Sakura,” Sasuke said quietly. 

“Really?” Naruto said. His eyes were shut and he didn’t deem the information worthy of opening his eyes until Sasuke spoke again. 

“We’ve resolved the tension between us,” He said quietly.

“Wow Sasuke…you must really care about me,” Naruto murmured, watching his face. 

“Right now I wonder, but I guess I do,” Sasuke said. Naruto had once again, expected deflection. 

“Thanks…” Naruto said softly. He imagined that Sasuke still didn’t want to tell him what their fight was about, whatever it was wasn’t important. “I like knowing where you are…” Naruto said after sucking in a deep breath. 

“What?” Sasuke frowned. 

“When we’re here…I can hear you moving around, I can almost hear you breathing. I know where you are when you wake up before me, or the moment you step into the house…I don’t know where you are when we’re at your place. You could leave the house and I’d have no real way of telling unless I was creepily y’know, stalking you inside your own house or something,” he said quietly. 

Sasuke watched him, and chose not to say anything. It was a gaze that might have unnerved people who didn’t know how to read Sasuke. Naruto knew he was being given time. “I don’t know what to think about moving in, because it’s not just your house Sasuke. Your house is something special, it was your home for years before you decided that it wasn’t. There’s life everywhere, I can see it in nicks in the wall, the wear and tear at the sink where someone’s hands rested multiple times, the way the door knobs rattle when you grab them. They were rattled loose, and it was by someone important. I feel like I have to keep my hands to myself to make sure I don’t ruin anything,” he sunk a little lower into the tub and tried to look anywhere at Sasuke. 

“They’re gone Naruto…” Sasuke said quietly. 

“So you’d be okay if I moved in and I wanted to paint the walls orange or I don’t know, demolish one of the rooms because we don’t need all that space?” Naruto asked and Sasuke just stayed quiet. “See, it’s your family home Sasuke. When I’m here…It’s just. I said this place was me. I grew up here Sasuke, I went to sleep with the drunks yelling at each other in the street. I woke up to the daybreak and left with the glares of people who hated me. No one took care of me, no one even tried. My door knobs rattle because I yanked on them too hard when opening the doors, there are stains in the floor from stupid shit that I’ve done. It’s everything that they tried to take from me and everything they failed in when they tried to tell me I wasn’t worth their time or their love…how do I leave that behind?” He said quietly. 

“You’re still you Naruto. Those things aren’t in your apartment, they’re in your bones,” Sasuke said hesitantly. 

“And whenever anyone looks at this place, they see nothing. They see something that was never going to go anywhere. A place that was never going to be anything. A place that should be torn down and never thought about again. They see everything I was supposed to be and look at me Sasuke. I know who I came from, I know who my friends are now, and I know my place. I never could have imagined all of the things I have now, and it all started here. But when other people see this shit hole, they’re going to tell me that where I came from isn’t as important as where you come from. It’s not worth anything because you had people that loved you right to the end, people who cared afterwards. Your family is important Sasuke, your house is important, but what people don't get is that mine is important too.” 

“Hn…” the noise was barely audible. For a while the only thing that could be heard was the gentle trickle of water as they shifted their weights. 

“They’d tell me that I have to move in with you, because there’s nothing worth staying for in here,” He murmured quietly. 

“They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about,” Sasuke said with anger tinging his voice. It wasn’t like Naruto hadn’t made it obvious that his apartment reflected him and the way people had perceived him, but Sasuke’s anger still surprised him. 

“People usually don’t,” Naruto said as he sunk into the water with an exhausted breath.

“So, you’re going to keep saying no then? It’s all on me?” Sasuke said. 

“Don’t sound offended. You were expecting it to be all on me,” Naruto mumbled. 

It was quiet again for a few moments, “You’re right,” Sasuke said. 

“Y’know, if I had told you that you’d ever breathe those words to me when we first met you’d probably punch me,” Naruto said with a snort and a laugh. 

“No probably, I would have,” Sasuke agreed. 

“I just…it’s not because I don’t love you or whatever, it’s just...I’m not good at letting go,” Naruto said. 

Sasuke’s brows lifted in agreement. “Do you want me to move in with you then?” Sasuke asked. 

“I don’t want you to move out of your house Sasuke,” Naruto said with an exasperated sigh. 

“Well then you’re going to have to tell me what the hell you want because I’m not a mind reader,” Sasuke growled. 

“Would you, if I asked?” Naruto asked. 

Sasuke looked at him and another one of those incredibly 'comfortable' silences fell over them again as Sasuke thought to himself. “I —“

“ — Don ’ t answer that, ”  Naruto said. 

“Na —”

“ — I mean it, I don’t want to know,” Naruto said with a frown and Sasuke’s teeth clicked as he closed his mouth. 

“Fine,” Sasuke sighed heavily. 

“I don’t have this all figured out yet, so right now nobody is asking anyone to move in…got it?” Naruto said. 

Sasuke nodded quietly, “That’s fair. Come on, you look exhausted,” Sasuke said as he stood and held out a hand to help Naruto up. 

“Yeah, fine,” Naruto muttered as he reluctantly took Sasuke’s hand. When the other man braced to hold his weight, Naruto was grateful. The bath had probably helped, but he was still a large mass of aches and pains. 

It didn’t take them long to dry off and slip into bed. Naruto was far too tired to think about anything other than drifting off to sleep. He wished it were that easy, Sasuke had a weird three step approach to sleeping. Laying on his back, laying on his side, and then eventually gravitating toward Naruto before he really fell asleep. It woke Naruto up every damn time, so he had just learned to wait it out. He could have cried tears of relief when Sasuke’s arm finally slipped over his side. 

 

* * *

 

 

It had been four months since Naruto had returned from his mission with Shikamaru. The one that had Sasuke admittedly frightened for the idiot’s well being. Sasuke had decided to drop the question because everything that Naruto said had given him things to think on. He wasn’t a fool, he knew very well that Naruto was complicated. He’d known it for as long as he could remember. 

He could still remember seeing him for the first time as a child. He remembered his mother speaking in hushed tones about the boy’s parents and how they were no longer around. She had almost seemed sad. He felt sorry for Naruto then, and when his own parents had passed, he finally understood that there had to be so much more to the untidy annoying blonde kid everyone seemed to hate. He understood that loneliness better than many could. 

No one had lifted a hand to help, Sasuke sometimes wish he had said something, said anything. Naruto would have disagreed, he knew the blonde well enough to know that the fact that Sasuke acknowledged him was enough. That was probably the worst part was that so little could be perceived as so much when Sasuke could have done more. It just hadn’t been his way. In some ways, it still wasn’t his way. So he left the topic hanging, because the time for action was over. Naruto knew who he was and knew what he wanted. Nothing Sasuke said or did could ever convince Naruto to do anything he didn’t want to even if that included not moving in. 

There was a knock on the door and Sasuke let out a breath as he put the book down that he had been trying to read and went to greet whoever it was. He wasn’t expecting Naruto, not when the dumbass let himself in welcoming-ly uninvited whenever he felt like it. He was surprised, and left immobile. 

“Are you just going to stand there? I kind of have a ton of stuff, and we’re going to have to figure out where the hell it’s going to go,” Naruto said with a smirk. He was standing at Sasuke’s door with all his weight on one leg and a box under his arm. At his feet there were other boxes with writing scrawled messily at an angle that identified what they were.

“What the hell are you doing?” Sasuke muttered as he tried to play his surprise for anything else. 

“You whine and cry to get me to move in and you’re mad when I finally agree?” Naruto said with a frown as he shoved the box under his arm into Sasuke’s torso and forced him to take it. 

“Is that what this is?” He asked as if it wasn’t obvious. 

“Yup,” He said without concern as he grabbed another box and headed inside. “I mean, you’re kind of the most important thing in my life. Did you really think I’d say no?” Naruto said with a grin, as if the two and a half years of them fighting to make this work hadn’t happened.

Sasuke watched him as he settled the box down on the edge of an end table. “Of course not,” Sasuke muttered and shook his head with a smirk on his lips as he finally headed inside. “If you think this box of incredibly light ‘books’ was going to fool me, you’re mistaken. I’m throwing these out,” Sasuke said. 

“Hey, I’ll have you know that’s quality ramen in that box Sasuke! I just don’t think we’re going to be able to make this work!” he growled out. 

“Deal with it,” Sasuke muttered. The smirk didn’t leave his face as he started unpacking the awful food packages. 

TBC?

OddlyEnded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said. This fic relies heavily on unreliable narration. Naruto doesn't say or think everything, and Sasuke at the beginning of the fic was a liar and very manipulative. He said certain things, and phrased things to specifically target Naruto's anger or compassion, because he knew how. Someone complained that this is very Naruto centric, and it is. I'm consciously aware of that, and it was intended to be that way.
> 
> Naruto on the other hand is simply flawed. I've had a comment or two on other platforms that tell me he's incredibly OOC and I get that he probably is, but it's because I think people like to put him up on a pedestal. I like to believe he's flawed in more ways than being 'simple' which in my eyes isn't even a problem. He reacts to Sasuke in ways that he can't control. His reactions are not rational and you probably shouldn't try to rationalize them beyond him maybe having a bit of PTSD symptoms in some cases, and maybe a fixed mindset in others. Mindsets do not fix themselves over night, sometimes they can take years upon decades, so having issues moving in after two years and facing the fact that you will be a pair instead of an individual could be hard for someone who has been alone all of their life. I personally don't see it as being unrealistic, and the fact that Naruto (as we know now) gave up limb for Sasuke (in a sense), could have very well been in the moment. Settling down from a war that was years in the making probably didn't allow for people to reflect on their feelings until the dust figuratively settled. It's not a stretch for me to believe that insecurities could come creeping in after the immediate danger was finally over. If anyone wants to contest that, I'd love to hear your side. I'm always open to hearing other rational thoughts even if I may or may not change my mind in the end. I respect your opinions c:


End file.
